How To Tell A Dude EXACTLY What You Want In Bed

Some say that intercourse is like pizza. When it’s good, it’s really good. And when it’s bad? It’s still pretty good.

Whoever coined this phrase was most definitely a dude. As a chick, good sex is good sex. Bad intercourse is an absolute nightmare. While there is no saving some intimate encounters (like that time your date wanted to role-play as Harry Potter and Lord Voldemort), there are other intimate encounters when you and your partner just aren’t on the same plane. Maybe you like it slow and sensual, and he’s trying to channel Christian Grey.

You could just write it off as a “do not call again” experience, but what if he’s a cool dude and you want to make things work? It can be hard to explain to a guy what you want in bed without sounding pushy, or worse– bruising his ego. So what’s the best way to do it?

Stop Faking It

The first step you need to take before it’s too late, is to stop faking orgasms. You are doing yourself a complete disservice, and you stop immediately before more damage is done! If you’re faking your orgasm, your partner is never going to realize he’s not doing things right, and he’s never going to change his moves.

Use Your Hands

It might be intimidating to straight up tell your dude what you want, especially when we’re so accustomed to talking about sex via text message. If you’re not one with words, use your body. Is he rubbing your vagina too hard? Grab his hand and move it around slower until he gets the hint. Not into the way he’s tickling your feet? Move his fingers towards your tits instead (I’m sure he won’t complain).

But A Little Words Won’t Hurt Either…

Sometimes you can’t tell it all with your hands. I’m giggling to myself while I try to imagine me grabbing a man’s hand so he can figure out that I want him to spank me…Sometimes, the best time to tell a dude what you want is in bed. And by that I mean sexily whispered in his ear…If you’re lucky a guy will even ask you what you want. But, if he doesn’t, it’s not weird to subtly tell him what you want. If you’re still nervous about this, you can take the easy way out with technology. If you’re having a hot conversation via text, mention what you like. If it weirds him out, you won’t have to deal with his reaction in person. If he digs it? You’ll hopefully get better interecourse next time you see him in person.

Make Him Think It Was His Idea

Another trick is to find out what he likes first. Some guys might not be as in touch with their style in bed, but they at least watch porn and know which page has their favorite videos…right? If you get him to dish on what he likes in bed and it ends up being what you like, you won’t even have to ask him to do that kinky thing you like, because he’ll already be hyped to do it! There’s nothing better than getting what you want without your man realizing that you’re getting exactly what you want…

Rave About It After

You know when your intercourse buddy did that amazing thing in bed…but then never did it again? That’s probably because you never told him that you liked it. If your partner really made you go crazy, tell him exactly what you did, and how you can’t stop thinking about it. If guys are good at one thing, it’s remembering what you like in bed (most of the time). If you can’t stop talking about that thing he did with his tongue last night, he’s going to do it every damn time you sleep together from now on.

You’ll Never Know Until You Try 

So maybe you and your dude have completely different fetishes and it seems like a deal breaker. But, you’ll never know until you try, right? The more intimate experiences you have, the better you’ll know what you like. Like Justin Bieber once said…Never say never!

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