Why Women Are Louder During Sex Than Men

It’s always nice when the guy you’re hooking up whispers something encouraging during a blow job. Why? Because guys don’t usually make noise during sex.

Women, on the other hand, seem to vocalize all the time. Whether we’re about to orgasm, or simply trying to get this blow job over with, we’re probably sounding off.

So what’s the deal: are women just generally louder than men? Or are there other biological reasons behind your constant screaming and moaning in the bedroom? Even female primates are louder than males when getting down and dirty — so what’s the reason?

We did some research and found a few explanations for why women are so loud and proud in the bedroom.

1. Because sex can sometimes hurt

In 2006, a researcher at the University of Sheffield undertook an experiment in which he studied sexual videos between straight and gay couples. The researcher took note of every noise or scream that the woman made, and also took note of every pelvic thrust or tongue flick of her partner.

He found that the most noise was made by women having anal sex, followed by women having vaginal sex. The couples who engaged in oral sex made the least amount of noises. We’re not scientists, but anyone who’s tried a smattering of these three sex acts will tell you that anal hurts more than vaginal sex, and both of those are definitely more invasive and potentially painful than oral.

We’re not saying your moans are actually howls of pain in disguise, but these findings definitely make you think about the connection between pleasure and pain. Maybe there’s a reason why the French coined the term “la douleur exquise,” or “exquisite pain.”

2. Because men get off on noises

The same researcher that conducted this study, Roy J. Levin, explained that men get aroused by auditory cues second only to visual cues. Translation: if you’re with a dude, he’s probably really into the noises you’re making. And this creates a feedback loop of even more enjoyment as you both get more and more into it.

Also, while women can quickly see if a man is aroused (hello, boner), a man generally needs some other hint as far as whether he’s doing his job correctly. Lots of moaning can be just the cue he needs to keep doing what he’s doing.

3. Because we’re trying to turn ourselves on

Many of us have moaned or made encouraging noises during sex even when we’re not turned on, and that doesn’t necessarily mean we’re trying to trick anyone. In fact, we could just be trying to get ourselves more into the act.

In a study entitled “The Faking Orgasm Scale for Women,” four separate reasons for moaning (besides pleasure) were accounted for:

1. Altruistic deceit: faking orgasm out of concern for a partner’s feelings (3.3 out of 5)
2. Elevated arousal: a woman’s attempt to increase her own arousal through faking orgasm (2.6)
3. Fear and insecurity: faking orgasm to avoid negative emotions associated with the sexual experience (2.1)
4. Sexual adjournment: faking orgasm to end sex (2.1)

What we’re most interested in here is the second one: elevated arousal.

Basically, if you’re already in the mood but you want to get more into it, some light theatrics can turn you on more. It all goes back to that feedback loop of pleasure. If you’re a little noisier, your guy will feel encouraged and try harder to please you, which will make sex feel better for you, and so on.

But don’t get it twisted: if you’re not into what your guy is doing, moaning louder isn’t going to change his technique. The best sexual practice is always to be open and honest about what you like and don’t like. And if he is doing a good job, some auditory encouragement never hurt anyone.

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