A Ranking Of The 14 Best Male Butts In Hollywood
We still can’t free the nipple on Instagram, but the booty is definitely fair game on the gram (and in the movies). The question is, whose butt is the best?
We spend tons of time analyzing the real vs. fake ratio of Kim Kardashian’s assets, or wondering how J.Lo’s derriere shows no signs of aging, but we think it’s about time we start objectifying men for their body parts.
Seriously, I never appreciated a dude’s ass very much, until I dated a guy with a huge ass. It was only then that I realized that guy’s butts are not just super fun to play with (patty-cake anyone?), but also great to take naps on! In celebration, let’s count down Hollywood’s best butts.
14. Leonardo Dicaprio: Pancakes, Anyone?
Sorry Leo, you may have stolen our pre-teen hearts, but this ass don’t impress us much. Tbh, neither does your body in general. I know you’re 41 or whatever, but John Stamos is 52! Can’t you take some workout tips from all the Victoria’s Secret models that you’ve dated? We’ve given you the number 15 spot on this list simply because we know that women will always be obsessed with you no matter how flat your butt is.
13. Justin Bieber: Miss New Booty
Sorry Justin, but your butt really isn’t deserving of your caption, let alone the fact that you willingly Instagrammed this thirst trap that isn’t even thirst inducing.
12. Chris Evans: Ass Like That
This movie was clearly filmed way before Chris Evans buffed up for his Captain America role. Bonus points for the delectable desserts, but that booty isn’t looking that appetizing.
11. Zac Efron: Squatty Thotty
It’s hard to judge this side-butt shot of Zac, but considering how buff he’s looked lately, we’re going to assume that he’s been hitting the squat rack too.
10. Kellan Lutz: He Gotta Donk
Again, pretty sad we don’t get a full view of Kellan’s toosh, but it looks pretty nice regardless.
9. John Stamos: Bubble Butt
Full House? Or full moon? John’s definitely got the lighting on his side, but his 52-year-old tail-end looks pretty good to us.
8. The Rock: Baby Got Back
This shot leaves a lot to the imagination, but we can confirm that just like The Rock himself, his ass is colossal.
7. Joe Mangianello: My Humps
This definitely looks like the type of booty you could take a nice long nap on, don’t you think?
6. John Cena: Bootylicious
Okay, aside from the poorly done fake-tanning, this butt is grade A. Like the rest of his body, John Cena’s ass looks absolutely rock hard. Even though he played a dumb, in the closet gay dude in Trainwreck, he still looked hot af.
5. Channing Tatum: Booty Call
Waking up hungover with a naked guy in your apartment would be so much better if this was the view you were greeted with.
4. Jake Gyllenhall: Salt Shaker
Okay, so he kind of looks like he’s running away after a one night stand in this screenshot, but would you look at those perfectly rounded cheeks and thigh muscles that protrude when he runs?
3. Jamie Dornan: Anaconda
I used to not understand why Dornan was cast as Christian Grey, but after seeing this ass, I am now in solidarity with the decision.
2. Chris Hemsworth: All About The Bass
Thank goodness for gifs because honestly I don’t know how else I could portray to you the beauty of this booty. But for real, would you expect any less from the actor who plays Thor? If you want to see more of dat ass, check out this Tumblr dedicated to his ass.
1. Matt Bomer: Thong Song
This booty is giving us a Bomer boner. Is that a thing? We just made it one. God bless you, Matt Bomer.