How To Turn Your Boyfriend into Christian Grey

There are many disappointing things in life. When you open up a starburst pack and get two yellow ones, when your parents go on a trip to Europe and forget to invite you, and when you’re dating a sexy ass dude who is vanilla as hell in bed. I will never understand why more guys aren’t the pillaging beasts that they’re supposed to be. Like, considering guys are stubborn, horny bastards who want control half the time, you would think there would be a plethora of guys aching to pull your hair and tie you to the bed. Somehow I have found this is not true, or I’m clearly meeting the wrong guys.

However, unlike a deformed penis or a speech impediment; a boring bedroom repertoire is something that can easily be fixed. But, don’t bruise your man’s sensitive ego in attempts to re-enact 50 shades of grey as soon as possible, use our tips to drop such subtle hints that your man will think it was his idea.

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NEVER compare him to another guy, even a fictional one.

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Guys are VERY sensitive about their sex skills. The worst thing you could do would be to say “well my ex used to always spank me really hard, can you do that too?” However, just because Christian Grey is a character from a novel doesn’t mean your dude will take it more lightly. Lean more towards “I kept getting so turned on reading 50 shades and imagining it was us two” rather than “Wow, Christian Grey is rich, sexy, AND naughty as hell! Can you be that way too? Especially the millionaire part.”

In fact, make him think the whole bondage thing was his idea

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Guys love the whole innocent card, isn’t that why “teen” porn is always the most viewed? You can admit that you’ve always been interested in bondage, but play it up to make him think you’ve never had much experience with it, and that he’s the perfect guy to tie you up for the first time. Something like “you bring out such a naughty side of me, I want to try doing ______ with you so bad.”

Get into character

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If you feel awkward/shy about the whole thing, or don’t know how to approach the subject, just channel your inner Anastasia. Tell him you’ve been naughty and need him to punish you, I’m pretty sure any guy with a penis and a Pornhub account will go for that.

Walk, don’t run

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We know E.L James makes every moment of tortuous love-making sound intensely pleasurable, but from someone who had been into BDSM for quite some time, I can promise it’s not. Make sure you know what you’re comfortable with first, because the idea of getting whipped might seem a lot sexier in a fiction novel then it does when you’re icing the welts on your ass. Conversely, if your guy cares about you, he’s gonna feel a little weird about calling you bad names and worried about pushing you too hard into the wall (been there, dealt with it).

Regardless of if you turn your man into Christian Grey 2.0, or you end up having to go to the ER (we hope not), these tips should help you ease into telling your guy how you want it, and maybe even turn him onto a new side of himself he never discovered! Happy Spanking!

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