I Tried Weed Lube And I Felt Nothing
Lube can play an essential role in successful escapades, and I have no problem using lube to spice things up between my boo and I. In fact, Indiana University’s Center for Sexual Health Promotion conducted a study on more than 2,400 women and reported that 70% of them used lube.
The latest of the lube trends is Foria, a “weed lubricant,” and last night I decided to try it in the hopes that I would have the biggest O of my life. There was only one problem — it didn’t work. Like, at all.
When I discovered that a product like Foria existed, I thought I’d hit the jackpot because I love smoking before getting a lil action. It calms any anxiety that I may have and allows me to lay back and enjoy every moment of pleasure, especially my boyfriend going down on me.
I immediately did my research on the little elixir of lust and read a Vice article in which Matthew Gerson, Foria’s Founder, explained that he created the lube because he felt that there was no existing product on the market that helped women reach the big O. I quickly became excited by the positive reviews.
There are two types of Foria: Foria Pleasure and Foria Relief. The latter is for when you just can’t take your PMS pains anymore and need to basically sedate your body. Pleasure is what I wanted, like when don’t I? The combination of coconut and cannabis oil guaranteed fifteen-minute O’s… at the least, and so much more.
I was 100% down, so I rushed to the dispensary after work to buy it. A little spray bottle of about five milliliters cost me 30 bucks, but hey, at least it comes in semi-cute packaging. I bought two and texted my boyfriend to come over.
You’re supposed to spray 3-4 doses down below – each spray contains about 2 milligrams of THC – and wait 15-40 minutes for it to take effect, kind of like edibles, according to the directions on the bottle. Then you let your lady parts marinate.
I’m not the most patient person, and neither is my boyfriend, so to be honest, we just waited the minimum amount of time. Things started to get hot and heavy, but I didn’t really feel any different downstairs. Out of sheer desperation, I grabbed the bottle and sprayed about 12 more times down there. I really wanted it to work! I even sprayed directly into my mouth. Still, nothing.
Was there something wrong with me? After some careful deliberation post-coital and without any promised fifteen-minute big O, I came to the conclusion that Foria just isn’t for everyone. And it’s probably better suited for non-smokers and patient people. I’m neither of those things.
As a stoner who smokes daily, I figured that I should have cleansed my body of any and all marijuana before trying the lube. And I definitely should have waited for it to kick in a little longer before banging. But hey! I’m a huge believer in second chances, Foria, so 5/10 would try again.
