How To Show Your Guy Friends You’ll Never Be DTF
Girls with guy friends always get a bad rep. Maybe it’s because people don’t believe men and women can truly be friends, or maybe it’s because girls are slut-shamed and criticized for literally everything we do. Maybe it’s because studies have shown that most guys who are friends with girls are also sexually attracted to the girl.
But as someone who has always had lots of guy friends (save your eye roll, please), I think it’s unfair to say that girls and guys just can’t be friends. In fact, I think girls and guys can be great friends if they have the right personalities. You just have to make sure the dude understands you’re never going to bone.
Making friends with guys and making it clear that you want to stay just friends isn’t always easy, because most guys will jump at any chance to get laid, not to mention they all have huge egos. But with the right skill, you can make it clear that there’s nothing ever going to happen while squashing any chances he’ll have to get the wrong idea. There’s an art to it, I swear.
1. No Touching
If you want a guy friend for a shoulder to cry on and/or someone to give you a big bear hug when you’ve had a bad day, I hate to break it to you, but you want a boyfriend, not a guy friend. Any touching in a guy and girl friendship is bad news bears.
Obviously, you don’t have to recoil in disgust when he casually taps your shoulder or gives you a hug to say hello, but just subtly deflect from these situations. Do you need to hug all your girl friends when you meet up with them? I don’t, so why would I need to with my guy friends? Same goes for any other physical touching. I don’t have the urge to rest my head on my girlfriend’s lap unless I’m next to her on a plane ride, don’t do it with your guy friend either. Any type of touching is going to make him get excited and think you’re down, and he’s going to jump on that opportunity.
2. Don’t Accept Acts of Chivalry
Sorry, but chivalry isn’t some mystical code where guys are nice to girls because they’re the fairer sex or whatever, it’s a way guys act towards girls that they’re trying to bone. If your platonic male friend offers to pay for your dinner, give you his coat on a cold day, or any other over-the-top gesture that your female friends wouldn’t do for you, be aware of how you respond. You probably shouldn’t accept him paying for things – except maybe if he’s loaded and you’re not. But even then, don’t let it become a habit or he’ll get the wrong idea. Remember, guys are psycho and think you owe them something if you accept their money!
3. You Can’t Flip-Flop
Guys don’t seem to trust girls who are all buddy-buddy with their exes, and rightfully so, tbh. It’s tough to be platonic friends with someone you’ve hooked up with, after all. There’s probably still sexual attraction to some degree — even if it only gets brought out after two bottles of wine.
Even if a dude isn’t your ex, the same rule applies. If you’re going to be friends with someone, be friends. Don’t blur the lines with any sort of sexual contact because your friendship is always going to be weird if you’ve previously hooked up and then suddenly decide you want him to be your brother instead of your boyfriend.
4. Don’t Text All Day
Have you ever heard some dude who was curving you say he’s a “bad texter?” Well, he’d be a good texter if he was into you, but it’s an easy excuse because most guys don’t text all day unless it’s with a special someone.
If you’re not his special someone, then don’t text back and forth all day, save that for your boo or your group-chat with your girlfriends. Guys text their friends to make plans, and if you’re just his friend, that’s the only reason you’ll text him too.
5. Play Wing Woman
Nothing says “I don’t want to fuck you” like helping your guy friend fuck someone else. Not only is it low-key fun to play wing woman to dudes, since nearly every dude could use a lady’s help, but it also makes the message clear that you’re down to see him hook up with a girl without getting the slightest bit jealous.