How to Put a Frat Guy in His Place

At colleges around the country, girls spend hours to put on our faces, get dressed in slutty outfits (but not too slutty), and saunter up to our favorite frat houses. We love it, don’t get me wrong. We love frat houses and we love frat guys. And they love us — obviously. My university is not nicknamed Slutgers for no reason.

Yet, they seem to disrespect us almost automatically starting with the obvious up-and-down eye groping. It’s just a part of the “culture,” they claim.

Here are a few ways you can easily put frat guys in their place. Don’t worry, they’ll still be dying to get in your pants regardless.

The Fashion Policeman

Him: “Bro, what are you wearing?”

You: “Yooo, don’t be a dick.”

Literally, it’s that easy. Sometimes frat guys do not know that they are being mean for no reason. They are treating you like they would if they were to meet a new guy friend, they insult you for no reason, they make weird sexual or slut-shaming jokes. All it takes is “hey, you’re being a douche.” Most of the time, they’ll be like, “oh, alright” and be awkward for five minutes. In the long run though, it seems like men appreciate having been put in their place since more people tolerate being in their presence.

The Backhanded Compliment

Him: “She’s a fuckin 11 I’d hit it.”

You: “She is an angel and the most fun and has pretty eyes, yes.”

Frat guys have a tendency to base the value of a women solely on her appearance. Tell them that she has way more redeeming qualities then her “huge knockers.” Hang out with them in a normal setting and have actual conversations (men can do that right?) and they may begin to realize she can be a friend, not just a hookup. While we see guys primarily as friends and then maybe as hookups, they see us primarily as hookups and then maybe friends (or at least a friend with benefits). *sigh*

The Trump

Him: *Touches side, holds your waist, kisses your cheek, does overall creepy things*

You: “Your friend Joel is hot, set me up.”

Before you become friends with a frat guy, they try to bang you and get creepy af. It’s not like you’re going to tell a guy that you actually enjoy him as a person and want to be friends (guys don’t handle feelings well). So instead, friend zone him more subtly. Guys love setting their frat bros up with their pretty friends to show off. They’ll probably just ask you to find them a cool formal date. After all, you know like, everyone.

The Parody Of Himself

Him: *Is way too drunk, incoherent, groping everyone*

You: “Go home, you shit.”

There seems to be some kind of unsaid taboo where when guys get too drunk it’s alright for them to get handsy on everyone and be blacked out and unreasonable. Girls get escorted home by the hair from their friends or boyfriends, but guys usually stay on the loose like the drunk babies they are.

Let’s be real, ladies, we can do our thang and control the fuckboy levels simultaneously. Slip into your skinny jeans and low cut bodysuit and never feel bad about putting somebody in the friend zone.

Frat guys and girls can almost have normal relationships, I mean, if we were all honest about our real human feelings–but I’m not starting that trend.

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