How To Deal With Being Jealous Over Your Boo’s Co-Workers
When you’re really crazy about your boo, or you’ve been hurt in the past, you may find yourself being overly jealous. Like, psycho jealous, over stuff that you really don’t need to be worried about. You know it’s unnecessary, but you can’t really help it.
A perfect example is being jealous of your boo’s relationship with a female co-worker. Sure, they spend a lot of time together and she’s pretty, but unless you notice any of these red flags, you shouldn’t worry about it.
If you still find yourself worrying about it, here’s what to do, according to Dr. Metzger, a psychiatrist, therapist, and co-author of The Modern Trophy Wife.
Just like any problems in relationships, if you try to hold your jealousy in for too long, it’s going to blow up one night when you’re drunk and things are going to end badly. If things are really bothering you, you need to say something.
“I think that just being really honest [is the best thing you can do],” says Dr. Metzger. “[Work friendships have] become more commonplace so just…asking, you know there’s a co worker, [they] get along really well, [they] work together, etc.”
Tell your boo you’re a little jealous of his relationship with his co-worker. Chances are, he’ll be flattered that you’re finally the one who’s showing some jealousy and he’ll assure you that there would never be anything going on between him and her, or anyone else for that matter.
See How They React
A good dude will give a reaction similar to the one mentioned above, but if a dude gets defensive and angry, maybe your jealousy was warranted after all.
“If they get really upset, [it’s] usually because either something’s going on between the relationship, something happened in the past, or they’re focusing on something that they are doing and they are suspicious too,” says Dr. Metzger. “If they get upset and they are really against it, maybe you have to dig deeper because that means there is something else going on.”
There’s also the chance that he’ll get upset that you don’t trust him, this isn’t the same as him getting pissed off or defensive. After all, wouldn’t you be upset if your boo didn’t trust you when you’ve been nothing but faithful?
Accept Your Jealousy
Remember that it’s normal to get jealous in any relationship. The key is to remember that your bae probably gets jealous of your co-workers, guy friends, etc. sometimes too.
“It’s natural to get jealous about it, especially if [you’ve been hurt] by somebody else,” Dr. Metzger says. [Just remember] there’s nothing to worry about. Try to keep repeating that to yourself, even though you might be feeling jealous, you don’t have to say it out loud to him because it will make him feel uncomfortable and wonder if you have confidence in your relationship.”
Remember That They’ve Never Been Unfaithful In The Past
If you’ve got trust issues because you’ve been cheated on before by another partner, you have to realize that your current partner is not him. Not all guys are the same, and it’s kind of unfair for you to be unloading baggage from your past partner onto your current one.
“Just remember that really there hasn’t been any evidence of why you should be jealous, just kind of hold onto that,” says Dr. Metzger. “Work life should not affect that.”
It can be easy to concoct some picture of your bae’s female co-worker as a seductive temptress, but if you meet her in person, this vision will (hopefully) be broken. Make an effort to meet her at the next work event or happy hour so that you can learn about her IRL rather than making assumptions.