6 Signs You Should Question Your Boo’s Work ‘Friendship’
It’s not your boyfriend’s fault that his manager is a hot cougar-type that kind of looks like Fergie. But is it his fault that she constantly texts him late at night and calls him “cutie?”
Being jealous of your boo’s work relationship can be tricky, after all, it’s his workplace, not the club, and you can’t exactly forbid him from talking to a co-worker or supervise him at work.
We talked to Dr. Dion Metzger, psychiatrist, therapist, and co-author of The Modern Trophy Wife, about some red flags that mean your weird feelings about your bae’s “work wife” might be warranted. This doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s cheating on you with his co-worker, but it could mean that there’s some sort of emotional affair blossoming that you should potentially be worried about.
1. He Connects With Her Outside The Workplace
The whole point of a work wife is that you’re only connected at work, so it makes sense that Dr. Metzger says the #1 no-no is if your boo connects with his co-worker out of the office.
“If you’re connecting outside of the work place, that’s always a big one,” she said. “Of course it’s nice to spend time together during work, but if you’re meeting after work for drinks or, you know, having late night texts or complaining to the other person about your significant other after hours, that’s usually when we get to the danger zone.”
2. And Not To Talk About Work Stuff
Obviously, lots of jobs have become 24/7 nowadays (I know, f our lives). So if your boo claims that he’s being texted about a project or work-related shit, let it slide. But also trust your instincts. He shouldn’t be hiding the texts from you if it’s “just work stuff.”
“If it’s more like texting to check in on each other and if it’s more of a personal nature, that’s when its starts to get in the danger zone,” says Metzger.
3. It Distracts Him From Work
If she’s distracting him from getting his actual work done, that means they’re def doing more than just working.
“If it’s actually interfering with your work, to the point that if you’re spending so much time together that if you do, like, joint projects or have these deadlines, you’re not meeting them because your spending so much time together and you’re just not efficient at work when you need to be,” explains Metzger. “I would always say that that’s usually one that ends up being more of a liability than really an asset of having a work relationship.”
4. She’s Single
It’s one thing if the woman you’re slightly worried about is taken and/or married, it’s another if she’s single and ready to mingle. Obviously, her being taken doesn’t rule out the possibility of something sketch happening, but her being single raises way more red flags.
5. He Hasn’t Told You Much About Her
If there’s nothing to hide, why is he hiding her? Take into consideration that he might be keeping things on the down low because he knows that you’re a jealous type. But if that’s the case then you should talk to him and make him realize that him hiding stuff just makes you more sketched out.
“Say you have a work husband and you have a boyfriend or husband at home and you’ve never mentioned them even though you spend so much time together,” says Metzger. “I always say that that usually means something weird is going on and it will make yourself or your boyfriend or whoever you’re dating pretty suspicious, especially if they come with you to a work event and then that’s the first time they’re finding out that you have this ‘work husband.’ Just be honest and communicate about it, let the person know.”
6. Or When He Does He’s Way Too Excited
It’s better for him to tell you about his co-worker than not to, but it’s also not great if his entire face lights up when he mentions their time together or all their inside jokes. You know your boo, and if he’s not talking about this chick the same way he talks about every other platonic female friend in his life, it might be something you should worry about.
