How To Navigate The Hottie At Your Summer Internship
They say not to shit where you eat, but can you fuck where you work? Not literally speaking, as in fucking in the supply closet at your office, but figuratively, like starting to date your co-worker. Is that cool? Or it just a butt-load of drama waiting to happen?
Follow this guide and you’ll totally pull it off.
1. Feel It Out First
Just like your last Tinder date who turned out to be a psycho, you can’t judge a hot guy based on first impressions alone.
Sure, the guy who sits across the cubicle from you might look like a young Ashton Kutcher, but how do you know he’s not a stage five clinger or a serial dick pic sender? That’s right, you don’t. If you are going to get involved in an office romance, you’d better make sure it’s worth your while so that things don’t get awkward if the flirtation is short lived.
Try to calm down your libido and remember that slow and steady wins the race… or at least gets you out of an awkward HR meeting.
2. Do Some Snooping
While social media stalking a new potential hook-up can sometimes be damaging, in this case it’s absolutely necessary. If you don’t at least check out his Instagram, you’ll never know that he used to date your supervisor, or that he’s a fan of Trump. Just make sure that you soberly stalk him so that you don’t accidentally double tap a selfie from 127 weeks ago.
3. Try To Wait It Out
If it’s a summer internship, you’ll be out of there by September. I know you’re eager to see what this guy is packing under his khakis, but if you can hold off until at least August to begin anything sexual, you’ll be glad you did.
Seriously, if you get too drunk at an office happy hour and wake up at his place the next morning, you run the risk of feeling awkward for the duration of your summer gig. Remember you’re there to work, not #werk.
4. Take It Slow
If you ignore all of the above advice and take your sexy co-worker up on his offer to grab drinks on Wednesday, fine. But, remember that this is an office environment and not a college frat party. There’s nothing wrong with having sex on the first date, but in this situation, you’re better off taking things as slow as your grandmother would like you to. Why? Because dating a co-worker is awkward enough, fucking a co-worker is a whole different story. You can try to say that “it’s just sex,” but we all know how that usually ends.
If you need further inspiration (or warning), read about people who hooked up with their coworkers here.