What Guys Think When You Send Nudes Before You’re “Officially Dating”
To send nudes or to not send nudes? That is the question.
On one hand, you’d think that for a dude, receiving nudes is like receiving a bouquet. But on the other hand, guys have this weird Madonna-Whore complex where they think any girl who’s sexual without their prompting is “undatable” or a slut.
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Obviously, at the end of the day, you should only send nudes because you’re feeling yourself and want to show off, not because you want to impress a guy or appease his requests. But you still probs wonder, what will your new fuck buddy think if you casually send him a titty pic mid-day?
Well, that’s where Reddit comes in. One user asked men on the site, “What do you think of women who send you nudes when you’re not in a relationship?”
Before reading the thread, our assumption was that most Reddit bros would say shit like, “if she’s sending me nudes, who else is she sending him too? She’s clearly an attention whore,” and we weren’t totally wrong.
“Depends on if they were fishing for attention/validation, or just trying to look sexy for me and turn me on out of lust for me,” said Reddit user unidentifiedgenius. “If it’s the former, then no I would not date them, but if it’s the latter then hell yes I would if I like her. In either case I would not lose respect.”
Why is wanting validation worse than wanting to turn someone on? Who knows.
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Either way, this is classic. Dudes are all down for girls being sexual and naked and slutty if it’s for their satisfaction. But if it’s not for their sole enjoyment, they’re pissed. It’s like how when a famous woman’s nudes get leaked guys are quick to Google search for it for their spank bank, while publicly pretending to be outraged that a famous woman would run the risk of sending nudes.
“If we’ve basically just started to chat or w/e I’d be disappointed how easy it was,” said Reddit user Laliophobic. “It would seem to me that I’m not the only one she’s sending them to. But maybe that’s just me.”
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Sometimes, guys’ slut-shaming problems stem from their own insecurities. Like, if a girl is sending him nudes, he automatically assumes she’s sending them to other people, because he’s a shithead who doesn’t deserve them anymore than the next rando.
“Either she doesn’t know me well and has just taken a huge, unnecessary risk assuming I’m a good dude, [or] she’s one my friends, and has chosen this approach rather than just tell me she’s interested,” said Reddit user Diablo165. “If we’re not dating and I didn’t ask, it’s an issue of judgement. What other risks is this person taking? Do I wanna date someone that takes those kind of risks?”
He’s right, she has taken a huge, unnecessary risk sending her nudes to you, because you clearly can’t appreciate them! Next time just send your nudes to your all-girl groupchat so they can support your thottiness, TBH.
Other guys claimed they’d be hyped if they got sent nudes out of the blue from a girl they had been casually seeing.
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“I fully support women sending them or not sending them,” said Reddit user FispeEelnest. “I’m a very sex positive person. It is up to the woman to make that choice for herself and it won’t determine my respect for her at all.”
Straight out of the woke-bae textbook! Unfortunately, it’s one thing to write a perfectly #feminist response on the internet and another to exhibit non-misogynistic behavior IRL. Kudos to this guy for knowing what’s up, but it’s hard to know how these type of guys really act in those situations.
“I think they’re the real MVPs,” said Reddit user Rambo_Brit3.
I mean, true. But at the same time, you also have to consider if the guy even wants the nude. I mean, granted, any guy would be blessed to see your naked bod, but some guys just aren’t into sexting. Or maybe it’s a bad time and he’s at work, or he was trying to take things slow.
Think about it this way, how do you feel when a guy sends a rando dick pic?
“I’m not interested in casual sex and I’m not the kind to just into bed after the first, or even fifth date,” said Reddit user scotiej. “If a woman did this with me that I’m not dating, I would delete it and move on.”
Imagine if you sent a guy a nude and he deleted it and never responded to you? Yikes.
At the end of the day, if you have to ask, you probs shouldn’t be sending that guy a nude. And you definitely shouldn’t send a guy a nude just because he asked for one. Just like having sex should be your decision and your decision alone (well I mean, besides making sure the guy is also DTF), sending nudes should also be.
Except sending nudes is weirdly almost more important, because if it gets into the wrong hands you could get screwed.
Your private parts are precious! Don’t send pics of them to undeserving boys!