Why Guys Like You More When You Stop Caring
Have you ever noticed when you stop putting in extra effort, the guy you’re talking to suddenly wants you more?
It’s super f*cked up and annoying, but it happens to the best of us. But why?
It also happens the other way around. We know better than to start catching feels for a guy who clearly isn’t into us anymore, and we shouldn’t fall harder for our significant other because they’ve stopped treating us right. And yet, we still do.
Well, it might be cuz your brain hates you.
JK, but kind of not.
You know how people say your brain releases oxytocin when you fall in love and are cuddled and whatever? Well, a new study found that oxytocin is released in your brain when there are “perceived threats” in a relationship.
Researchers from Norwegian University of Science and Technology (NTNU) and the University of New Mexico did two separate studies, detailed in Broadly, which both found that a person was likely to exhibit an increase in oxytocin if they thought they were more invested in the relationship than their partner.
This really sucks, kind of like love and catching feelings and all that jazz in general. But it could explain why every relationship seems to have a power dynamic, or why you fall for guys who treat you like poop.
It could also explain the whole haunting phenomenon. You know, when you’re into a guy, he ghosts, and then once he realizes you’re not waiting around, he starts trying hard to get your affection back.
Or, why when you try to dump your loser boyfriend who treats you like shit, he starts begging for you back and promising to change.
Spoiler alert: he probs won’t change, so don’t waste your time. But it’s definitely an interesting study and concept, and also something to keep in mind when a douche suddenly decides he wants to act like Prince Charming. It’s only temporary until you start being nice to him again!