Guys Expose the Shady Sh*t They Say With Their Bros

What do guys say about you when you’re not around? Well, you probably don’t want to know, tbh. If a guy is douchey around you, he’s doubly douchey when he’s around his bros. Even if he’s not a douche around you, there’s a good chance he turns into one when he’s trying to impress his friends.

A recent Reddit thread had dudes going into detail about the assy things they do when you’re not around, and it wasn’t pretty.

Reddit user FreshPrinceofAZ had a friend who said the ultimate douche comment about how he bangs “average” girls so that he can be the hottest guy they’ve slept with, and the user wondered if other guys on Reddit had friends who said similarly embarrassing stuff. What resulted was a bunch of dudes admitting that their friends are complete ass-wipes when it comes to talking about women. Chill!

READ ALSO: 7 Things Guys Wish Women Knew About Dating

1. We All Know One Of These

“I had a friend who dated friends of friends, had sex with them, took them on trips, took them to meet his mom…Then a week later complains, ‘Why is she calling me all the time? They’re always trying to get their claws into me!'” – urchigold

We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again, guys are literal sociopaths.

2. Bold Move

“One guy I was talking to at a nightclub said, with an arrogant tone, ‘Just because there is a goalie doesn’t mean you can’t score.’ He was talking about hitting on one girl he had eyes on, but I then pointed out that she is my girlfriend. He then said the aforementioned statement. I had rarely felt such a strong urge to punch someone in the face in public”. – PacSan300

This line is written somewhere in the fuckboy bible, right next to the step-by-step guide for avoiding eating girls out.

READ ALSO: Here’s How Much Pee Is In That Spring Break Pool Water

3. This Is Why You Don’t Forgive a Cheater

“‘Dude, I can cheat on her all I want, she already forgave me once'” – Thatguyunknoe

Cheaters never change. And if he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you, sorry ’bout it!

4. Funny How No Girls Seem To Do This

“I have a co-worker who is overweight and goes on dates with women he meets online, only to dump them because he thinks they are too fat. He comes over to me and says stuff like, ‘bro, she was shaped like a pear. Pfft. Not my thing.’ I got mad at him today and said ‘can’t be turn[ing] down pear-shaped girls when you are shaped like a pumpkin.'” – Afin12

Maybe this phenomenon has something to do with the fact that all sitcom couples involve hot af moms with beer-belly dads, even the cartoons? Just a thought.

5. Burn Him At The Stake

“I had a friend early on at university who was from overseas. He had a long-term girlfriend back home and they were both virgins and saving themselves for marriage. He ended up fucking and losing his virginity to a random female friend. Said it was fine because he was a guy and his girlfriend would never find out anyway. But he wanted to stay with her because, ‘she’s the type of girl you marry, you know?’ Pretty sure they broke up eventually. Good riddance.” – BubbleAndSqueakk

That poor girl! We’re almost as sad for her as we are angry for him. Secretly hoping she was getting freaky back at home as some form of revenge.

READ ALSO: 10 Body Insecurities Guys Actually Love

6. Beware of Restaurants Managers In General

“My roommate used to be a hiring manager at a restaurant. He openly brags about how he would only hire hot waitresses and sleep with them. Once he got bored with them or if they got emotional[ly] attached, he would fire them. Now he says he only fucks dumb chicks because they are easy to manipulate.” – uglyandproud2

What is it about restaurant managers that ooze skeevy-ness? Is it a job requirement to be a total creep and casually engage in inappropriate touching of employees? Lmk.

7. Bumble Can’t Ban All The Assholes, Unfortunately

“‘Tinder is for banging 5’s. Bumble is for banging 8’s. The country club is for finding a wife,’ [said the] Fraternity brother of my cousin.” – OskeewowwowIL

Maybe you should just use Bumble for the BFF feature from now on.

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