The Newest Character on “Girls” Is a Fetus
The latest addition to the cast of “Girls” isn’t a boy or a girl, it’s a tiny little gestating fetus!
Just what any struggling twenty-something girl really wants.
But before we get to that, let’s briefly recap what went down in everybody else’s lives in “Painful Evacuation,” the fourth episode of the sixth season of “Girls.”
Hannah has a bloody UTI again.
Marnie still hasn’t told her boyfriend she’s deeply involved with her ex-husband, and Ray’s starting to get suspicious, but not too suspicious because literally two people he knows die in the episode and that takes up most of his mental capacity.
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Adam quits a movie where he has to play some Russian mafia fuckboy because he thinks he has too many lines and then after throwing a psycho hissy fit, Jessa comes up with the brilliant idea that they should make a movie about themselves. Specifically, how the force of their love was so strong it made both of them screw over Hannah.
Shoshanna seems depressed, Ray randomly brings up suicide, and it seems like maybe she should stop letting him live with her and maybe get outside her apartment more.
Which brings us to the fetus.
Whose vagina is the fetus currently squatting in?
After she calls her mom about what tf she should do about her bloody pee, her mom tells her to go to the emergency room.
And who should walk in but the doctor she had an episode-long love affair with back in season two before she fainted in his shower and things got weird.
Only instead of coming to tell her the last few seasons have been an awful dream and she’s still on the floor of his shower passed out, he’s come to tell her not only does she have a UTI but she’s also pregnant.
Hannah is not thrilled to say the least.
Although at least she knows whose baby it is.
Remember that guy with a girlfriend and a random patch of lower back hair she hooked up with on the beach earlier this season?
Being a nice guy, hot doctor offers to hook Hannah up with an abortion, but Hannah gets huffy and walks out.
TBH it was rude of him to assume she didn’t want to keep it, but still, she could have at least taken down a number just in case.
Welcome to the world, little bb fetus.
Take comfort in knowing that no matter what happens to you, you can’t be any worse than any of the other characters on the show.