6 Reasons You Need to Get Over Your Friendâ€™s College Relationship
We’ve all been there. Our friend has left us at a frat party to go be with a dude, and we’ve scoffed at her.
“She’s ruining the best years of her life.”
“They’re going to break up after college and she’s going to regret not going out with us more.”
“What’s the point of being in a relationship when you’re so young?”
The list goes on. It seems that there are countless numbers of reasons why love sucks and you should stay single in college (and perhaps forever?) according to social media and modern romance. While the clichÃ© scenario is a guy whose friends shit on him for being “wifed up,” this phenomenon is alive and well in female friend groups as well.
Unfortunately, there are plenty of unhealthy college relationships. I’ve seen guys driven crazy with trust issues to the point of hacking their girlfriend’s Snapchat account. I’ve seen girls completely lose contact with all of their girlfriends due to a possessive boyfriend that hardly lets her leave the house. This article doesn’t apply to those relationships. This article applies to healthy relationshipsÂ thatÂ still get hated on byÂ their single (and bitter) friends.
Here are 6 reasons you should stop hating on your friend’s college relationship.
1. She’s Still Having Fun
Not everything is about you. Sure, you may miss the nights where you and your BFF drunkenly killed a handle and went home with a group of random hipster dudes, but there’s a time and place for those antics. Just because your friend isn’t taking place in those antics now that she has a boyfriend doesn’t mean that you two can’t have fun.
Moreover, it doesn’t mean that she’s not having fun. If your girlfriend still goes out, enjoys herself, and consistently has a smile upon her face, you shouldn’t be worried about it. If she’s only hanging out with her boyfriend and nobody else, it’s your job as a friend to let her know that she’s isolating herself.
ButÂ if she’s managing to keep ties with her friends and you’re still having an issue, you might want to re-evaluate what you consider a “friend,” because you may not be a good one after all.
2. It’s Not Affecting You
Unless your friend is in one of the aforementioned unhealthy relationships, there’s no reason why you need to live vicariously through her. So maybe you don’t approve of her decision to go to her boyfriend’s lame frat party, so what? Then don’t go with her.
Nobody is making you live life the way your “tied-down” friend is. If you want to be “single and loving it,” go ahead and do just that, rather than spending your time bitterly hating every girl in a relationship.
3. She’s Getting Good Dick
You might think your sex life beats your friend’s hands down, but it might not.Â Seriously, hate on committed relationships all you want, but a lot of themÂ are having good sex. At least when you’re hooking up with the same person every night you know that you’re not going to be surprised with a baby dick, can’t say the same about your one night stand.
4. You Don’t Need to Be Single to Find Yourself
Although your friend may not be in her current relationship forever, she’s going to learn some valuable lessons that come with every relationship. Even if you’re sworn single forever, you could learn a thing or two from being in a relationship (i.e: selflessness, prioritizing your time, not making everything about you *cough cough*).
5. (Almost) Everybody Settles Down Eventually
Not everybody settlesÂ down, but most people do. Your plans may include traveling the world, getting a Ph. D., and founding your own company before looking for a boyfriend, and that’s awesome. However, your friend’s plans might be different.
Don’t hate on your friend for having a different life plan than you, that’s not your decision to make. Maybe she’s not as ambitious as you â€” or maybe she simply wants some arm candy for when she backpacks through Europe whereas you’d rather roll solo and scroll Tinder in every new country. Neither one’s better than the other.
6. Maybe You Can Get Set Up With His Friends
If you’re seriously still hardcore hating on all your friends in relationships, maybe you should take a step back and evaluate your own love life. Are you deep down bitter that you got hurt? Or did the last guy you had a “relationship” with totally ghost you?
We’ve all been there, but it’s not fair for you to take out your anti-relationship sentiments on your friend(s) who are enjoying their current ones. Try to make the best of the situation and ask your friends who are taken if their boyfriends can set you up with their friends. Even if the double date sucks, at least you’ll get some free food and some quality time with your BFF.