Science Says These 6 Characteristics Make a Guy More Creepy

Every girl has called a guy creepy before, if you haven’t, you’re lying. Maybe it’s that dude from work who “coincidentally” shows up at the same happy hour as you every Friday, maybe it’s the Tinder match who send you dimly lit nudes at odd hours of the night. Either way, I think all girls can come up with a rough list of the characteristics that define a guy as a creep. Don’t get your pen and paper out yet though, because science has done the work for you.

In a study done by Francis T. McAndrew, it was found that 95% of people are more likely to perceive males as creepy rather than females. The study also found certain characteristics and professions that ranked consistently as more creepy than others.

1. Having a Penis

Does this shock anybody? Probably not, since 95% of people ranked dudes as being creepier than chicks. I mean, how many times do you really find a female masturbating on the subway or sliding into your DMs? There’s a reason the term Peeping Tom is named after a dude, am I right? Guys can give us shit for being “crazy” or “emotional,” but they’re the creepy ones.

2. Being a Clown, an Undertaker, or a Sex Shop Owner

Clowns are not funny or cute, they are fucking creepy. When survey participants ranked the creepiest professions, clowns were at the top of the list. Also on the list were taxidermists, funeral directors, and sex shop owners. I can understand the other ones, but why does a sex shop owner have to be creepy? Maybe we should just start having more women own sex shops to solve the problem of the stereotypical old dude supervising a glory hole in the back of the store.

3. Unpredictability 

People find unpredictability creepy. We assume they’re not talking about the Tinder dudes with tigers in their photos who brag about how spontaneous they are in their bio. They’re talking about the guys who could go batshit crazy on you any second, or maybe the guys who are furious one second and horny the next. Then again, most guys tend to have that ability.

4. Voyeuristic Tendencies

Most people agreed that those who love to watch others are kind of creepy. Participants mentioned bird watching, photography, pornography, and “watching children” as key signifiers of creeps. On the plus side, if you do have a stalker, you’ll probably uncover a great selection of his cute candids of you for your Instagram account.

5. Not Being Sexy

Okay, let’s face it, if an ugly guy comes up to you and grabs your ass, you’ll kick him in the balls. If a cute guy does it, you may or may not tell him to fuck off, but if he’s really cute you may be a little flattered. Attractive people are always perceived as less creepy because we’re all shallow as hell.

“There’s research on attractiveness, and that people who are more attractive are better in every way,” McAndrew told Business Insider. “There’s a bias toward attractive people that’s reinforced by mass media, and even when a movie casts a bad guy they cast someone who’s objectively unattractive, unless the intention is to have the audience be surprised that the bad guy is bad.”

In the graph below, you can see that certain physical characteristics such as having greasy hair, being extremely thin, being tall, or having facial hair made someone appear more creepy.

6. Collecting Shit

Unfortunately for everyone who has actual hobbies besides going on social media and breathing, collecting things may make people think you’re creepy.

“The most frequently mentioned creepy hobbies involved collecting things, such as dolls, insects, or body parts such as teeth,” the study said. “Bones or fingernails were considered especially creepy.”

Luckily for you, I think most men will agree that a girl who collects this shit is totally “chill” and “edgy.” It’s a dude that collects dolls that may be a little strange to some people.

Overall, a main factor for women deciding if a man was creepy or not was if they perceived a sexual threat or not. When you think back to every dude you’ve been creeped out by, almost all of them were probably staring at your crudely or trying to make some sort of unwanted move on you. This is also probably why dudes are generally accepted as more creepy than women, because they’re always trying to get laid. On that note, make sure to check if a dude’s hair is clean, if he collects dolls, and if he has a side job as a clown before deciding to go home with him this weekend.

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