A Guy’s Timeline, Before And After He Gets Laid

Our generation is deathly afraid of marriage. I mean, god, imagine watching your boyfriend take a shit, or not having sex for months and considering it “normal?” People change. The person that you meet on a first date is most likely not the same person that’s cumming on your titties two weeks later, or the same person that’s meeting your parents six months later.

Girls and guys alike tend to reveal their flaws more and more the longer a relationship goes on, but somehow guys change like a chameleon after one small (or big?) event; getting laid. After you have sex with a guy for the first time, you’ve just entered an entire different world with him. Is he going to want to fuck again? Is he going to sleep over? Is he going to ghost you and delete your number? The horrible possibilities are endless and exciting!

However, most guys aren’t that complex. And their demeanor before and after they get pussy goes a little something like this:


Upon meeting, you think that you’ve actually finally found a nice guy. He remembers your name, asks lots of questions, and even orders you an uber home without trying to get you to let him inside afterwards. Honestly, he makes such an effort, that you’d be crazy not to let him hit. After all the assholes you have to deal with on a daily basis, this guy actually deserves to be let inside your cave of wonders.


Once you realize that the sex is amazing, you either start to get sketched out or you start to fall head first. I mean, nice guys aren’t supposed to be this hot, right? Maybe he is gay? There’s no way you met a guy who’s the total package at a Tuesday night happy hour, it’s too good to be true. But, there’s that little string of hope inside your head hoping that it is true, and you two are going to live happily every after in both of your perfect-ness and have perfect little babies…Then, he jizzes all over your back and you are brought back to reality…


The change isn’t drastic at first. He cuddles you after sex, and it’s really, really nice. Then…he suddenly gets a call, and you find out that he’s not in fact sleeping over, but going over to his bro’s house to watch some game. A little hurt (and still naked), you resign yourself and tell yourself that it’s fine, he’ll send you a good morning text tomorrow and things will continue to progress…but he doesn’t. In fact, he hardly ever texts you anymore. And those questions he used to ask about your career goals, family background, and interests? Yeah, the only questions he asks anymore are at 2 am when he’s wondering if you’re DTF.

The real problem is that you still keep holding on to that guy you met initially, the one who really seemed like a good guy. You tell yourself that he’s just busy, or just being a typical boy, and he’ll go back to the nice, sweet guy that he was before. But the thing is that he’s not going to sweetie, and you’re just providing him with some pussy while he works on his next prospect. Instead of entertaining this asshole while he plays with yours, you could be out meeting another amazing guy (who will probably end up being an asshole too)… Basically, you’re fucked, as is the rest of the female population. Happy husband hunting!



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