What To Do When You Match With a Hometown Hottie On Tinder
It’s late. You’re lying down on the couch in your parents’ basement swiping through Tinder, when you receive another match. No biggie, you’ve been swiping for over 10 minutes now and you’ve probably accumulated 30+ matches, but this is the match you’ve been waiting for.
Why’s this dude so special? Because you, along with every other freshman chick, had a huge crush on him in high school. He was essentially the Justin Bieber, or the Brad Pitt, of your school, and he totally knew it. Because of that cockiness, he never learned your name. In fact, in your two or three years as an underclassmen in the same school as him, you probably never even exchanged so much as a glance. But here you are now, swiping right on him on Tinder, and having him swipe right back. Boo-yah, bitches! But now, what do you do?
Play It Cool
DO NOT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT HIGH SCHOOL. I repeat: Do not say anything about high school. Don’t try to be all like, “wait… did you go to Washington Lake?” Because even if you try to play all cute and clueless, he’s probably going to know that you remember him. If he knows that you remember him, he knows that you’ve stared at his perfect dimples and butt, and he knows you were slightly lower than him on the high school food chain. Therefore, he knows that you’re going to be an easy lay for him with minimal effort. You do not want that… unless you do?
Actually Be Cool
You shouldn’t have to play it cool, because you are fucking cool. Sure, maybe in high school he was the big shot senior who played forward on the basketball team while you were a lowly freshman with a retainer and a monogrammed backpack, but times have changed. You’re probably a boss bitch with a bad ass while for all you know he’s still shooting hoops around your high school while living in his parents’ basement. Don’t get caught up in the lame popularity rules of high school, you’ve long since graduated and times have changed.
Don’t Treat Him Differently Than Any Other Match
Just because you kind of know him doesn’t mean you should treat him differently then your thousands of other Tinder matches. He’s not special unless somehow he proves himself to be. Don’t message him first unless you normally message guys first. Don’t give him your Snapchat username if you don’t normally give away your Snapchat username to Tinder dudes. Sure, maybe you know that he’s not a catfish, but you don’t know that he’s not a creep or a serial dick pic sender, do you?
Be Realistic
Nothing is worse than falling in love with the idea of a guy rather than the actual guy. I hate to break it to you, but there’s a good chance that if you decide to meet up with this guy, he’s going to be a let down. If you really spent all (or some) of high school fantasizing about dating him and/or scribbling his name on your assignment notebook; he’s become too idealized in your head. In reality, he’s just another dude with smelly balls who probably picks his toenails when he’s alone. Don’t get your hopes up just to be crushed. Besides, going down memory lane isn’t that fun when it involves sex in your parents’ basement and a four-year-old letterman jacket.
