7 Things You Should Thank Your Vagina For
Having a vagina isn’t always all it’s cracked up to be. I mean sure, it’s a great last minute hiding spot, I guess. But it also means you’ll make less money, get groped by creepy dudes, and also probably have to take some form of birth control because dudes can’t handle the side effects.
Regardless, in the spirit of being thankful in the month leading up to Thanksgiving, we’re here to remind you why having a vag can be awesome-sauce. Because if there’s anything to be thankful for, it’s your pussy.
1. Having Some Serious Ass Endurance
Whether you love dick or you prefer dildos, there have definitely been times where your lady parts impressed you for their endurance. Whether it was an extra long fuck-sesh, an extra big member, or whatevs, a little soreness never hurt nobody. And your vag is one strong bitch. Ladies are ready to go round two right away, but the majority of dudes need to have some down time to recharge their boners. Sucks to suck.
2. Cleaning Itself
Ignore all the ads telling you that you need “feminine wash” or God forbid, a vaginal detox kit. Because whoever is making that shit either has never read a textbook about anatomy, or they’re hoping to prey on your ignorance. Either way, you should know by now that your pussy cleans itself, kind of like a cat does (pun intended).
3. Not Physically Showing Excitement
Did everybody else have the pleasure of watching that sex ed video where a dude gets a boner because he has to stand next to his crush during their class picture? No? Just Me? Whatever.
Either way, the ability to get turned out without broadcasting it to everyone in the room is seriously a blessing, because lord knows if guys could see when we were turned on, their egos would get even bigger than they already are.
4. Getting Free Shit All The Time
Okay, this is kind of by the transitive property. I mean sure, you don’t flash your pussy and get free shit (or maybe you do, whatevs), but you do get free shit for being a girl, like a lot.
Guys may be assholes when it comes to giving women their rights, but they’re totally fine with giving women free shit, extra help, etc., mostly because deep down they hope it’ll get them laid. Spoiler alert: it rarely does.
5. Being a Great Last Resort For Hiding Your Weed
Adam Sandler’s greatest line? In the Hot Chick when he says “you can put your weed in there.” Cuz I mean, shit, if you ever get pulled over and have to make a quick game-time decision about what to do with your weed, you can def stash it up there. Same thing goes for money (this is what many escorts do), other drugs, and whatever other shit you need to keep hidden. Not that we’re condoning doing anything illegal…obvi.
6. Having Multiple Ways To Orgasm
Sure, it may be a little more difficult for women to reach orgasm than men, but that’s just because we have standards. Plus, when we do orgasm, we have the option of the clitoral orgasm or the vaginal orgasm. How’s that for variety, bitch?
7. Bouncing Back Like a Bad Bitch
Another rumor that’s almost as dumb as the needing to clean your vagina myth is when guys think that a girl who has sex with lots of dudes will have a “wide” vagina. Again, another classic example of someone who has never picked up an anatomy book, or maybe doesn’t know how to read whatsoever.
Like. hello? A baby is going to come out of there? Do you think that after you have a baby it stays that size? Cuz that would be uncomfortable as hell. Nah, vaginas bounce back like elastic, which just shows how fucking skillful the pussy can be.
