7 Of The Worst People You’ll Encounter On Halloween
A person’s Halloween costume says a lot about them. Are they someone who is confident and DGAF about being slut-shamed? Are they someone who tries way too fucking hard to be cool?
No matter what type of party you go to this weekend, there’s always going to be that one annoying person that is way scarier than an actual ghost. If you’re unlucky, there are multiple annoying people, and you’ll probs encounter each one of these peeps are your local Hallow’s Eve banger.
1. The Person With a “Smart” Costume
Punny costumes can be funny sometimes, but there’s always that person who crosses the line and is something like “the death of print media” or some shit that’s explanation is so long that you have to go to the keg twice in between them droning on. Just be a slutty ladybug next year, man.
2. The Girl Who’s To0 Cool For a Slutty Costume
Oh ehm gee, how woke of you to wear a burlap sac or a dinosaur suit instead of twerking with your tits and ass out with cat ears like the rest of us. You must be so smart and mature.
Sorry, but you’re not smart, because if you were smart you’d realize how amazing it is to dress like a total thot. And if you were actually woke you’d realize that being a feminist is not judging other women for doing WTF they want to do.
3. The Person Who Says Their Offensive Costume Is “Chill”
Dressing up as a Mexican is not suddenly okay because you have a Mexican BFF. Dressing up as a “sexy geisha” is not okay because you date an Asian dude. You sound like a fucking idiot, and you also look like one.
4. The People PDAing In a Dumb Ass Couples Costume
Couple costumes are a bad idea to begin with, but we all do them anyways because what better way to let everyone know that the same person eats your pussy every night?
But if you’re going to do a couple costume, at least be original. Nobody wants to see peanut butter & jelly making out against the wall, or five pairs of Sandy and Danny grinding on the dance floor in a clusterfuck.
5. The Person Whose Costume Is a Fucking Mess
I’ll never forget the morning after my friend’s Halloween party when we woke up to red paint marks on the wall. “Who the fuck would do this?” she asked. I expressed the same confusion until I remembered that I put red lipstick on my back to look like scars and was def drunkenly grinding against the wall. Oops.
There’s always that person whose costume is leaving a trail of debris or a smear of shitty party makeup wherever they go. Hint: don’t have a fucking Halloween party in your apartment.
6. The Dude Who Tries To Make Fun of Basic Bitches
Guys love to make fun of girls who throw on a red lingerie set and devil horns and call it a costume. And yet the guys who tease are the same guys salivating when a chick like this walks through the door. You can say that chicks aren’t creative and just want to show off their bodies, but um, excuse me? You’re literally wearing a basketball jersey as a costume. Next!
7. The Person Who Doesn’t Dress Up
There’s no question that Halloween is way more fun in college, but that doesn’t mean that you’re suddenly too cool to dress up when you start being a real person. Sure, maybe you’ll have to class it up for an office party or whatever, but you’re never too fucking cool to dress up. If you think you’re too cool, trust me, you’re a fucking loser.