7 Guys Every Girl Makes Out With In Her First Month of College
Everyone knows what syllabus week, and your freshman fall semester in general are really for: making out with as many randos as possible to make-up for your lack of sexual freedom in high school.
Instead, go through the ups and downs of being a drunken sexual degenerate and making out with as many cute boys as possible before getting “over it” and deciding to settle down your senior year — or, you know, don’t.
1. The Guy In Your Hall
Making out with a dude that lives across the hall from you is an epic mistake and will set you up for awkward encounters all year, but you’ll still do it anyways. You’ll feel a special bond with your floor-mates for about a month until you find new friends and dudes who are actually hot and don’t have creepy roomies that watch you make-out.
2. The Pledge
He claims he needs a pic of him kissing a girl in his dorm room for his fraternity pledging process. He’s kinda hot in a try-hard way, and you’re kinda drunk in a college-freshman chugging FourLokos kinda way, so you figure might as well help a brother out.
3. The Artsy Guy
This guy seems sooo cool compared to all the jock-y bros you knew in high school. He’s the Dan Humphrey to your Serena Van Der Woodsen. He’s super anti-frat and spends his evenings in the common room shirtless playing “Hey Jude” on his guitar. You think he’s “deep” and “complicated,” but after making out with him in the bathroom of a house party you realize he’s just as chillingly douche-y as every other dude you’ve met in college so far. Sad.
4. The Older Frat Bro
This guy knows every line in the book and knows exactly the way to your naive little freshman heart. It doesn’t hurt that he’s way buffer than all the freshmen guys and he seems to know everybody on campus. You’ll be wowed at how “cool” his apartment is, with vodka bottles stacked above the cabinets and a ping-pong table, but it won’t seem quite as cool the next morning when he kicks you out cuz he “has class” and he’ll seem a lot less cool a couple months later when you learn that your entire sorority pledge class also hooked up with him.
5. The Ghost
You definitely made out with someone last night. Your roommate claims she walked out of the party and you were ferociously eating some dude’s face on the front steps of the house before she dragged you back to the dorm. And yet, you have no clue what the f she’s talking about. You didn’t really know anybody at that party, and you don’t really remember much after your fifth cup of jungle juice. Oh well, if you don’t remember, it didn’t happen…right?
6. The Dude Who’s Kinda From Your Hometown
There’s only so much small talk involving your major and what dorm you live in that you can take before wanting to chug an entire bottle of Vlad. Thankfully, at some toga party you run into a guy who says he’s from your area. Hallelujah! While you both start trying to figure out if you have any mutual friends and talking about the mall and how shitty the car ride is to school, you end up getting hammered and fall into his lap — and stay there. Welp, good thing you didn’t actually have any mutual friends!
7. The Friend Who Secretly Wanted To Bang
If you didn’t learn it in high school, you’ll learn it in college: every male friend of yours secretly wants to bang you, or at least would do it if given the chance. One of your “good guy friends” from orientation weirdly gets pissed when you keep hooking up with rando frat guys and you can’t seem to figure out why. One night after the party while splitting an XL cheese pizza in your dorm room, he goes in for a kiss. You go along with it for a minute before realizing that you’re so not into this dude and telling him to go home (but leave the pizza). Another freshman friend bites the dust.