12 College Kids Tell Us The Worst Dorm Room Hook Up They’ve Ever Had
Whether you had absolutely no experience in high school or lost your v-card at age 13, your freshman year of college is full of new experiences.
The combination of your “own” room, accessible(-ish) alcohol, and a plethora of new potential partners is a ticking time bomb of insane hookups. Unfortunately, though, with the fun hookups there’s also a lot of awkwardness.
We talked with college students about some not so ideal hook-up experiences they’ve encountered in a dorm room. Let’s just say that we’re all happy we’re never going to be sleeping in a lofted Twin XL ever again. Names have been changed to protect the (mostly) innocent.
“I was hooking up with this guy in my dorm room and he was from a school in the area. I woke up and he was on the floor in between me and my roommate’s beds. When I asked why he was on the floor, he told me that I wet the bed, and a twin XL isn’t big enough for both of us and pee. I signed him out right away.” – Kaylee
“One time the guy I was seeing and I were having smoosh session and wanted to go in for round two. I had a lofted bed in my dorm room and kept my condoms in the desk below my bed. So the boy jumps off my ladder, naked, to retrieve the condom. As he’s climbing back up into bed he yells, ‘I’m naked Spider-Man!’ My roommate heard the entire thing.” – Samia
“Once I fell out of my four-foot-tall bed mid-bang.” – Dani
“I was getting laid by a guy in my dorm room. My friends did not know I was sleeping with the guy since we were keeping it a secret. One night, my guy friend walked in when he was super drunk in the middle of us fooling around and crawled into bed with me. My hookup was hiding under me for an hour until my drunk friend left.” – Molly
“It was the first week of my freshman year. After the first week of classes on Friday I got a Facebook message from a girl in my class saying, ‘hey you’re in my history class, you’re really cute let’s hang out.’ I agreed and she said I should bring a friend and she’d bring a friend to go see a movie. As soon as I get to the movie she walks up and kisses me immediately even though I’ve never met her before. We watched the movie and hooked up and I went back to her place afterwards. The problem was that it was her and her four roommates on the couch watching ‘Pitch Perfect.’ After the movie ended she wanted to watch another movie and I was getting tired and wanted to get to bed. We watch another horrible movie and her roommates are still hovering around us. Finally at 4 a.m. she wants to get into her bed. I try to take her shirt off and she goes, ‘Let’s take it slow. I don’t want to ruin this relationship.’ I pretended that I got an emergency text and I left her place at 5:30. She texted me about 20 times the next morning asking if she ruined everything. I guess I misread the situation but I basically spent seven hours of my Friday with a creepy chick and didn’t even get [any].” – Brock
“One time I got drunk and ended up in the dorm of a nearby school with a guy from the bar. Obviously I tried to escape but I’d given the dorm RAs my ID to sign in the night before and needed to get it back to leave. When I went to ‘sign out’ of the dorm’s front desk, they couldn’t find my ID unless I gave the last name of the guy who had signed me in. Unfortunately I didn’t know his last time so I tried to mumble something to play it cool. They then asked me what letter it began with and I just made up a letter. They still couldn’t find my ID and had to go through the entire Rolodex of IDs to finally find mine. To make things worse I ran to a car immediately after thinking it was my Uber and it was instead a random guy’s car and he freaked out.” – Pamela
“One time my buddy came over to my dorm and mid-hookup he realized that he needed to go number two. He didn’t want to poop in my dorm room because the bathroom was right next to my bedroom and he was embarrassed, so he walked all the way to the gym just to go to the bathroom. He then he came right back and resumed hooking up with me.” – Stephanie
“I had shower quickie in my dorm’s bathroom and then didn’t brush my hair after because the shower was too small so I just went straight to the bed and fell asleep. I woke up the next day and I couldn’t get a huge knot out of my hair and a whole chunk of my hair fell out. No exaggeration, I’m still trying to grow my hair, almost a year later.” – Anna
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