Everything You Need To Know About Virginity


Virginity, what the hell does it even mean. Despite what you may have heard, there’s no medical definition of virginity, so technically that means virginity is what you make of it. With so much crazy information on the internet about it, here are some things you should know, whether you’re a virgin or you’ve been happily spreading the love for some time now.

1. It doesn’t have to be painful, but for a lot of people it was. 

You may have heard that your first time having sex is going to hurt, but the truth is, it doesn’t have to. First of all, this myth is based on the assumption that you’ll be having penetrative sex, and that penetrative sex is the only way to have sex. If you’re a gay girl, for instance, and your first time includes only oral sex with no penetration, that still counts as your first time, and no, it probably won’t be painful. If you are having penetrative sex, use lube, engage in foreplay, and you should be gucci.

2. There’s no “right” time or age to have sex for the first time. 

Really, there’s no such thing as “normal” when it comes to having sex. I had friends in college who were virgins until their senior year, and I had friends in high school who lost it their sophomore year. There are plenty of people who just never come across a person they are down to do sex things with until later in life, and plenty of people who meet someone with whom they feel comfortable enough to do it with early on. When and at what age you have sex for the first time says nothing about you as a person.

3. Being a virgin doesn’t make you a prude. Not being a virgin doesn’t make you a slut. 

This is pretty self explanatory. There are a myriad of circumstances and factors that come into play when deciding when and with whom to have sex with for the first time. Engaging in, or not engaging in sexual activity doesn’t have anything to do with your personal character. Don’t let anyone make you believe otherwise.

4. You’re a virgin until someone has “popped your cherry“. 

Wrong again. Breaking the hymen can occur during sexual activity, or during events as mundane as inserting a tampon for the first time, a gynecological check up, or even just riding in a car. Whether your hymen is in tact or not is not the litmus test of virginity. Which leads me to…

5. You define what “virginity” means to you.

If you got fingered and that qualifies as sex to you, then you’ve had sex. If you engaged in mutual masturbation with a partner and that qualifies as sex to you, then congratulations, you’ve had sex.

6. And by the way, you’re not losing anything. 

Nothing gets lost when you have sex for the first time. Really, not even the “tightness” of your vagina. You just have sex. And that’s it. Did you “lose” something the first time you gave someone a hug? Or the first time you went swimming? If anything, you gained an experience, so try not to frame having sex for the first time as “losing it”.

7. You might not know what you like at first. 

You can’t know what you like until you’ve experienced it, so don’t blame yourself if you end up doing something you actually end up hating your first time having sex. If while you’re doing it you decide you want to stop, don’t be afraid to speak up. Communication makes sex so much better for both you and your partner.

8. Your first time might be boring.

For a lot of people the experience is so overwhelming or anxiety inducing that they’re too busy worrying to enjoy themselves. But luckily, you now have the rest of your life to have as much sex as you want. Yay sex!

Gimme More Sex + Dating

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