6 Ways To Cure Your Coachella FOMO Without Leaving Your City
As you scroll through Snapchat on this sunny afternoon, you may feel like you’re the only one who’s not at Coachella. After seeing the fifteenth flower crown selfie and the tenth Coachella geotag, you’re probably having some major FOMO. You may tell yourself that you’re definitely going to make it out to the desert next year, or convince yourself that the line-up isn’t that good and camping sucks anyways. But either way, you can experience the joys of Coachella this weekend without leaving your city, you just have to get a little creative.
1. Listen to a bunch of artists you don’t know
I know, I know, you absolutely adore the Coachella line-up. You were totally a fan of The Chainsmokers before “#selfie”, and you also know one song by Churches, or is it Chvrches? Whatever. You don’t need to be in a hot-ass desert to listen to music that you don’t even know. Instead, just download an obscure ass playlist from 8tracks and try your hardest to sing along like you know the words even when you don’t. You’ll get even more into the spirit if you start trying to convince the people around you that you’ve been like, the biggest fan, forever. Maybe even convince them that you did coke with them in the back of a Taco Bell before? The sky is the limit.
2. Get drunk in a field
Honestly, do you really need to pay $400 for a ticket, plus however much for transportation, just to get fucked up in a desert? You can totally DIY that shit. Go put on some jean shorts, buy a cheap bottle of wine, maybe purchase some molly from that creepy kid down the hall if you’re feeling crazy; and go get fucked up in a field. If you live in the city, a park will do just fine. All the commuters buzzing around you will make you basically feel like you’re in Coachella with a throng of fans, especially if you take that molly.
3. Take 300 selfies with a flower crown onΒ
With all the selfies that people take at Coachella, who’s to say if they’re even in the desert or not? After all, most of the photo is taken up by their perfectly contoured face and obscenely large flower crown. In fact, most of their Coachella experience is probably taken up by them taking selfies, you can do that too! Get your own flower crown, and take as many selfies as you physically can (after doing your makeup for a sun-kissed look, obvi). If you go by a window or outside for natural lighting, you can probably post a picture with the location tagged as Coachella and people will be none the wiser.
4. Wear rompers for as many days straight as possible
If you’re going to be at a music festival all day with little access to comfortable bathrooms, the obvious choice of outfit is a romper, aka the most difficult thing to pee in. You can mimic the unreal Coachella experience by donning your own romper, drinking a shit ton of $4 water bottles, and then relieving yourself in a nasty ass porta-potty while trying not to ruin your trendy floral romper.
5. Pretend to camp outΒ
Do people really camp out at Coachella? Or do they Instagram pics of their tent only to take an Uber to the Embassy Suites down the road? You may never know, since you’re not at Coachella. However, you can mimic this same experience on your own! Buy a cheap tent and call your best guy friend to set it up. Then, after setting up the blankets, pillows, etc. realize that sleeping outside sucks and go back into your bedroom where it’s safe and warm and you can make hot dogs in the microwave instead of over open flames.
6. Take selfies with random people who may or may not be famous
It’s the ultimate war in your mind, when you spot someone who may or may not be famous at Coachella. Do you ask for a selfie just in case? Is it appropriate to ask for their name? Maybe you can ask for their Instagram handle so you can check? As fun as the frenzy of chasing a D-list DJ through throngs of half-naked girls for a coveted snap story is, you can totally do this in your own city. I mean, if you live in NY there are basically semi-famous people at every corner, or at least someone Instagram famous. Just run around snapping selfies with cool looking people and you’re bound to find a winner! If not, at least it’ll look like you have friends!
