6 Ways To Make Your Halloween Costume ‘Appropriate’
Halloween becomes way less fun after college. You no longer have the need for five different costumes to wear to various parties and multiple weekends of debauchery, and you no longer can throw on an American Apparel bodysuit and ears and prance around outside like a hoe without a care in the world.
Sadly, as an adult, you probably only get one night of Halloween (two if you’re lucky). And instead of going to the types of parties that fulfill a frat boy’s wet dreams, you get to go to the type of parties that occur in an office and end at 11 PM.
But hey, one Halloween party, even if your boss is there, is way better than no Halloween parties, right? The only problem is that none of your tiny costumes from college are really going to make the cut, unless you’re trying to get a promotion from your pervy boss, which could def backfire. So here’s how to adultify your Halloween costume, and maybe if you’re lucky you’ll get to wear the slutty version for an after party that same night.
1. Add Pants
Okay, I know you’ve been working on your squats and that your black tights are kind of opaque-ish, but trust me on this one, you need pants for a “big girl” Halloween costume. Or I mean, a skirt works too. I know leotards and lingerie were the epitome of Halloween fashion during your college years, but for certain events you’re going to have to cover your ass, sorry.
2. Get Creative
Think of all the costumes you never ended up wearing in college because they weren’t slutty enough and you didn’t want to be the only girl in your sorority covering your tits. Did you always secretly want to go full on princess with a long gown? Maybe an authentic version of Hermione Granger instead of the knockoff Leg Avenue version? Instead of looking at your work party as a damper on your normal thotty attire, look at it as an opportunity to get creative with your style.
3. WWMMD?
Put yourself in your mom’s shoes and ask, what would my mother do? What kind of costumes does she wear to Halloween parties? What’s a costume that she would actually approve of you wearing? For obvious reasons, ignore this tip if your mom is semi-reminiscent of Amy Poehler’s character in Mean Girls.
4. Ditch The Heels
The cool thing about dressing up as an adult is that you don’t for some reason feel the need to pair sky high stilettos with every Halloween costume under the sun. Like, why on earth were stilettos necessary for your slutty panda bear costume junior year? And yet, you still wore them. Now that you’re older and wiser, you realize that no costume really needs heels. And you’ll enjoy yourself way more in a shoe that won’t force you to sit down for the whole second half of the party.
5. Don’t Forget You Can Still Look Cute
Being “conservative” doesn’t mean ugly, don’t forget that. Just because you can’t wear a skintight pleather Catwoman costume doesn’t mean that you have to dress as the Wicked Witch of the West or Freddy Kruger. You can still look fucking hot, just let your hotness exude from your attitude and your face rather than from a bodycon mini-dress.
6. Be a Quick Change Artist
If you’ve got one office event and one house party with your friends, you can add and/or subtract things from your costume to make it work for both. Whereas you might just wear a black leotard for your basic cat costume for your friend’s party, you can add leggings and a leather jacket for your office party. And maybe swap the stripper heels for flat boots. Obviously, some costumes won’t translate well for the office, so if you were planning on dressing as Kim Kardashian, a Playboy Bunny, or a French Maid, maybe go back to the drawing board.
