13 Of The Most Bizarre Breakup Excuses People Actually Used
The only thing worse than getting broken up with is getting broken up with by some overused line like “it’s not me, it’s you.”
So in a way, it can be nice when people get creative. We searched Reddit for some of the weirdest break-up excuses we’ve ever heard, and after reading some of these, you’d probably take a cliché line any day.
1. I Hope You Choke On Your Next Snickers
“I heard my friend’s boyfriend say to her, ‘You’re like a candy package. Once I saw and ate all the inside, the package is empty, and I have to throw it. It’s the same with you, I have nothing more to discover in you.’ Then he left her.” – allenorpoirier
2. Cold Feet To a New Level
“Just happened to me a few days ago. We were engaged, planning a wedding, and talking about buying a house. Last Friday, she says that she can’t shake a feeling that this relationship ‘wasn’t right,’ even though we’ve never had a problem in our entire relationship. She said this feeling was God telling her ‘no’ on our relationship and that she just doesn’t want anything with anyone right now. Yeah, ok.” – crouchingroundhouse
3. It’s Not You, It’s Hugh
“The girlfriend gave her boyfriend, a friend of mine, 3 months to look like Hugh Jackman or she was breaking up with him. Poor lad got a gym membership but certainly in 3 months you’re not gonna be Jackman. The guy blew a shitload of money on supplements and a gym membership. Anyhow, in an year or so he got ripped and guess who texts him.” – bboiabb
4. Doggone It
“My friend dumped his girlfriend because she shared the same name as his family dog that had just been put down. Both called Maddie.” – FutureBachelor
5. Hi
“I broke up with a girl when I was in high school because she called to just say ‘hi’ and stayed on the line quiet. Probably my most petty moment in my 32 years of life.” – thefrankyg
6. Elsa Froze His Heart
“Not exactly a breakup, but a first date story. We were sipping beer, and at one point the conversation shifted to Pixar. I admitted to liking Tangled way more than Frozen. He paused, looked me dead in the face, and said ‘Wow. Yeah, I’m sorry, this isn’t going to work.'” – audge
7. No Soul
“An extremely shallow friend of mine who dated a guy that wasn’t even ginger but his dad was said she dumped him because she didn’t want ginger babies. Things started to get serious and after meeting his parents for the first time, she dumped him the next day and actually told him the truth about ‘no ginger babies.'” – AliceGoesToXanadu
8. He Probably Has a Dad Bod
“A friend broke up with a few girls because he was worried they would put on weight in the future. One lost weight, one gained weight. They both got married, and he wouldn’t have married either, so it worked out for everyone.” – LazerBeamsCattleProd
9. Spit It and Quit It
“Dated a tattoo artist that gave me free tattoos. Her third favorite thing in the world (1 being hiking, 2 being Prince) was giving head. After 3 months she broke up with me because how my spunk made her stomach feel in the morning.” – Jaysic42
10. Not A Happy meal
“I once broke up with a girl due to a fight that escalated out of her having taken fries off my plate without asking.” – StuffMeHuge
11. Facebook Official
“One time a girl dumped me because her friends didn’t take our relationship seriously because ‘we don’t have enough pictures together on Facebook.’ We were 28 and 29 years old at the time. It was so juvenile.” – neverseenbaltimore
12. Girl’s Best Friend
“I broke up with a guy because he wouldn’t stop saying my dog loves him more than me. Like he was repeating it over and over, so I warned him if he said it one more time then we are done.” –_Jasonderulo
13. Kick Him With Your Stiletto
“I broke things off with a guy I was dating because he was short and didn’t want me wearing heels or any type of shoe that added to my height.” – DomanshnaRakija
