GALORESCOPES ARE BACK, BABY: Your Weekly Horoscope for Sept. 7–13
The planets have been talking shit without us for nearly a decade. GALORE is finally listening again.
Dust off your birth chart, unblock your astrologer and maybe don’t text your ex just yet: GALORESCOPES are officially back.
If you’ve been here long enough to remember GALORE’s original weekly horoscopes, first of all, gorgeous. Second, we’re picking up the cosmic group chat exactly where we left it — just with higher standards, better outfits and significantly more screenshots in the evidence folder.
And the universe apparently heard we were coming back, because September 7–13 is messy.
The week starts relatively cute before Thursday, September 10, decides to have an entire season finale by itself. Venus slips into Scorpio, taking romance from hehe we’re flirting to why were you active 14 minutes ago? Mercury enters Libra and gives everybody prettier words, Uranus turns retrograde in Gemini, and the night closes with a Virgo new moon begging us to clean up our routines, standards and possibly our apartments.
Basically: love gets deeper, communication gets cuter and Virgo hands everyone a clipboard.
As always, read for your Sun and rising sign.
ARIES ♈
Image: Pinterest/Editing by Perrin Johnson
Babe, the routine needs work.
You’ve been getting away with chaos because you’re hot. Unfortunately, Virgo has arrived with paperwork.
This week’s new moon lands in the part of your chart associated with work, routines and wellness, making this your cosmic performance review. What are you doing every day that actually makes your life better — and what’s just keeping you busy?
Meanwhile, Venus entering Scorpio turns up the temperature around intimacy. Someone could want more access to you emotionally, physically or financially.
GALORE SAYS: Organize the calendar. Drink the water. Then have the sex.
LOVE: Stop pretending you don’t care.
MONEY: Read before you sign.
MANTRA: Being organized is unfortunately kind of sexy.
TAURUS ♉
Image by Perrin Johnson
Romanticize your damn life.
Oh, Taurus. Finally, something for YOU.
The Virgo new moon activates romance, pleasure and creativity, while Venus — your ruling planet — enters Scorpio and turns up the volume on partnership. Translation? The universe has basically put rose petals around your relationship sector.
Single? Stop entertaining people who make conversation feel like unpaid labor.
Taken? Turn the phones off and remember why you actually like each other.
GALORE SAYS: Buy the flowers yourself. Wear the outfit you’ve been “saving.” Accept invitations.
LOVE: Delicious. Potentially serious.
MONEY: You don’t need another little treat. (You will buy it anyway.)
MANTRA: Pleasure is productive.
GEMINI ♊
Image by Perrin Johnson
Identity crisis, but make it a rebrand.
Uranus begins its retrograde in your sign this week, asking you to reconsider who you’ve been becoming and whether that version of you still fits. Mercury entering Libra, meanwhile, turns your flirtation settings back to factory maximum.
Your ideas are ideas-ing. Your mouth is mouthing.
Just remember that not every thought needs to become a text message.
Especially after midnight.
Especially that one.
GALORE SAYS: Reinvent yourself because you’re bored, not because somebody failed to appreciate the previous version.
LOVE: Flirty. Dangerous. Fun.
MONEY: Avoid boredom shopping.
MANTRA: I reserve the right to become hotter and stranger.
CANCER ♋
Image by Perrin Johnson
Say what you actually mean.
Your psychic little crab routine has one flaw: people cannot, in fact, read your mind.
Mercury enters Libra this week, emphasizing conversations around home and your inner circle, while Venus entering Scorpio gives your romance and creativity sector a gorgeous little glow-up. Uranus retrograde also asks you to examine the background noise you’ve been carrying.
So if you want reassurance? Ask.
Want the date?
Say yes.
Want them to leave your apartment?
Girl, SAY THAT TOO.
GALORE SAYS: Communication is hotter than resentment.
LOVE: Cute enough to cancel plans for.
MONEY: Protect your comfort without overspending for it.
MANTRA: My needs are allowed to have a volume.
LEO ♌
Karol G Re-imaged by Perrin Johnson
Know your worth. Then add tax.
Leo, we’re talking MONEY.
The Virgo new moon opens a fresh chapter around income, possessions and self-worth, and this is exactly the week to reconsider what your time actually costs.
And because Jupiter is currently moving through Leo, there is already a bigger, more-is-more energy surrounding your personal growth this year.
Raise the rate. Apply for the thing. Stop doing professional-level labor for “exposure.”
Exposure does not take Klarna.
GALORE SAYS: Your confidence isn’t the problem. Your pricing structure might be.
LOVE: Don’t confuse attention with investment.
MONEY: Main character category.
MANTRA: Expensive is a mindset.
VIRGO ♍
Image by Perrin Johnson
New moon. New you. Same Notes app.
Oh, she’s HOME.
Thursday’s new moon occurs in Virgo, making this one of your strongest reset points of the year. New beginnings involving identity, habits, appearance and personal goals are especially highlighted.
Cut the hair. Start the project. Delete the number. Rearrange the bedroom at 1:43 a.m.
Just don’t turn self-improvement into self-punishment.
You don’t need to become an entirely new person by Monday. You need to stop maintaining things you’ve already outgrown.
GALORE SAYS: Make the list — but put have fun somewhere on it.
LOVE: Higher standards. No apology.
MONEY: Clean up the subscriptions. Yes, all 37 of them.
MANTRA: Reset, baby
LIBRA ♎
Image edited by Perrin Johnson. Image source: Unknown
Oh, you have something to say now.
Mercury enters your sign Thursday and suddenly your mouth is one of your best accessories.
You’re persuasive. Charming. Quick. And possibly capable of getting away with something you absolutely should not get away with.
But Venus leaves Libra for Scorpio, shifting your attention from simply looking fabulous to asking a more important question:
What do I actually value?
That includes your money, relationships and the price you’ve been putting on your own energy.
GALORE SAYS: Say it cuter. But still say it.
LOVE: Your DMs may require adult supervision.
MONEY: Don’t confuse luxury with emotional regulation.
MANTRA: Pretty and articulate is a dangerous combination.
SCORPIO ♏
Image edited by Perrin Johnson. Image source: Unknown
Congratulations. You’re unbearable again.
Venus enters Scorpio this week.
Everybody else, good luck.
This transit amplifies attraction, magnetism and the desire for deeper connection, while the Virgo new moon refreshes your friendships and wider social world.
You’re entering one of those periods where people suddenly remember you exist.
An ex watches the Story.
Someone starts liking suspiciously old photos.
A stranger maintains eye contact for three seconds too long.
Don’t abuse your powers.
Or do. We’re an online magazine, not your mother.
GALORE SAYS: Being desired is fun. Being discerning is hotter.
LOVE: Five alarms.
MONEY: Don’t finance the revenge look.
MANTRA: Access to me is a privilege.
SAGITTARIUS ♐
Janet Jackson still image edited by Perrin Johnson
Your ex has entered the chat.
Not necessarily literally.
But Venus entering Scorpio activates a more private, reflective part of your chart, which can bring old feelings and unfinished romantic business back into focus. Uranus retrograde simultaneously asks you to reconsider relationship patterns, while the Virgo new moon puts fresh energy into career matters.
Translation:
You can either stalk someone from 2023 or update your résumé.
Choose growth.
GALORE SAYS: Missing somebody does not automatically mean they deserve a sequel.
LOVE: Haunted.
MONEY: Career doors are cracking open. Push.
MANTRA: Nostalgia is not compatibility.
CAPRICORN ♑
Imaged edited by Perrin Johnson
Leave the group chat and enter the room.
This week’s Virgo new moon encourages you to expand your world — travel, education, publishing, culture, anything that reminds you there’s life beyond your daily responsibilities. Meanwhile Mercury’s move into Libra favors career communication and networking.
In other words: who you know might actually matter this week.
Talk to the person across the room.
Send the email.
Apply.
Pitch.
Book the flight if your checking account isn’t screaming.
GALORE SAYS: Networking is just flirting with a LinkedIn account.
LOVE: Friends-to-lovers potential is lurking.
MONEY: Opportunity loves an introduction.
MANTRA: I belong in the room.
AQUARIUS ♒
Image edited by Perrin Johnson. Image Source: Still from J.Lo music video.
Delete the old version.
The Virgo new moon activates transformation, intimacy and shared resources for you, while Uranus — your modern ruler — begins its retrograde in Gemini.
Translation: you’re renovating from the inside.
That situationship you’ve been intellectualizing?
Feel it.
That financial arrangement you’ve been avoiding?
Open the spreadsheet.
That weird creative idea?
Keep going.
GALORE SAYS: You cannot reinvent yourself while keeping every souvenir from the person you used to be.
LOVE: Vulnerability. Ew. Do it anyway.
MONEY: Check what’s shared, borrowed or owed.
MANTRA: Change looks good on me.
PISCES ♓
JT re-imaged by Perrin Johnson.
We need to discuss your taste in people.
With the Virgo new moon activating your partnership zone, relationships are getting a reset — romantic, professional and otherwise.
The question isn’t simply “Do they like me?”
It’s:
Do I like who I become around them?
Venus entering Scorpio encourages you to broaden your romantic worldview, while Mercury in Libra favors conversations with actual depth.
You don’t need another mysterious person with “bad at texting” in their bio.
You need reciprocity.
GALORE SAYS: Chemistry without consistency is just cardio.
LOVE: New chapter energy.
MONEY: Get agreements in writing.
MANTRA: Good people. Better timing.
THE COSMIC GROUP CHAT 💬
💋 Best week to get laid: SCORPIO
Venus literally moved into your sign. Don’t make us explain this twice.
🚩 Most likely to text their ex: SAGITTARIUS
Put. The. Phone. Down.
💸 Hide the credit card: LIBRA
A purchase is not a personality breakthrough.
🔥 Most likely to cause a scene: GEMINI
Uranus retrograde in Gemini + Mercury changing signs? Somebody confiscate the group chat.
✨ Universe’s favorite: VIRGO
Your new moon, your season, your reset. Make it count.
And that is your week.
The biggest message from the sky isn’t that everything needs to change overnight. Thursday’s Virgo new moon is traditionally associated with getting specific about habits, routines, work and the small choices that eventually become a life.
So clean something. End something. Start something. Flirt with somebody inappropriate if you absolutely must.
Just check your chart first.
See you next week, hot girls. The planets unfortunately never clock out.
GALORESCOPES is GALORE’s weekly astrology column for cosmic guidance, romantic delusion and entertainment. Read for your Sun and rising sign.
