Research Shows Boys Might Actually be More Emo Than Girls
If you’ve ever dated an “emotionally unavailable” dude, you know what it’s like to feel frustrated. You know, the guys who only want to talk feelings when they’re drunk, the guys who get upset but can’t voice why, the guys who would rather be beat up by an entire gang than to admit that they have emotions.
You’ve probably even sworn to yourself that said dudes have more emotions than you do, and only struggle so hard because they try to keep them all bottled up. If you have assumed that, then congratulations, you’re absolutely fucking right.
In one study, it was found that male infants are much more expressive and emotional than girls — they simply learn to hide these emotions in their teenage years due to gender roles and the constant pressure to “man up.”
That dude who totally bros out in front of his friends, calls you his “slam,” but then drunkenly professes his love to you? This definitely isn’t the first time that he’s hidden how he felt in order to fit in with the boys.
In fact, in his piece for The New York Times, Andrew Reiner cites multiple sources that describe how men’s inability to express their emotions is a severe problem that is ignored in society and leads men to bottle up even more.
“Boys are not only more invested in ongoing romantic relationships, but also have less confidence navigating them than do girls,” explains sociologist Robin W. Simon. This could explain why some guys have a tougher time getting over breakups than girls do.
Simon goes on to explain that one of the reasons that men have so much trouble in their love lives is because they have nobody to confide in. While you can go on a Tinder date and immediately call your mom, text your BFF group chat, and send a few voice memos to your designated guy friend for input, your male date will simply keep all his romantic or “non-manly” thoughts in his head where they may or may not make him crazy.
According to Reiner, some people have gone as far as to connect the American male’s lack of emotional expression to the numerous suicidal gunmen that our country has seen in the past decade. Is your emotionally unavailable crush going to take out his feelings with a gun in your bio class next week? Probably not. But this research certainly explains why the dude you’ve been “talking” to for weeks completely acts like your boyfriend, but runs away scared at the first sign of a “relationship talk.”
If your boy toy needs some convincing to stop saying “no homo” before he tells you that he like-likes you, perhaps send him Reiner’s piece. He may realize that his fragile masculinity is causing him to fall behind in school, work, and life in general.