The Signs As Annoying Drunk Party Friends
Sometimes we make the mistake of turning our drunk, party friends into our daytime, sober friends; but sometimes it’s the total opposite.
Have you ever decided to take a co-worker, or another strictly daytime friend for a night out on the town and realized they’re a mess when they’re drunk?
Or, sometimes your old pal’s drunk persona just takes a downward spiral and it seems every night you go to the club she ends up crying in a bathroom stall.
Whether your friend is consistently ditching you for dudes or pressuring you to take one more tequila shot than you can handle, we all have friends who we’d rather not hang with when drinking is involved. Here’s which one you are, based on your zodiac sign.
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ARIES: The friend who always needs to be taken care of
Aries don’t have bad intentions, but their impulsiveness and aggression leads to them consistently drinking to black out.
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They’re optimistic, so they figure nothing horrible will happen, and luckily it usually doesn’t. But we all have one of these friends, and you’re probs sick of searching the bar bathroom for their cell phone and tired of figuring out their address so you can call them an Uber home.
In worst case scenarios, Aries’ friends end up spending the night with them in the hospital or dragging them away from a dude who was trying to take advantage of them. And unless you avidly go out to play mommy, this probably isn’t your cup of tea.
TAURUS: The friend who starts fights
We all have that one friend. The one who “hears” another girl call her ugly while walking out of the bar bathroom and decides to get in her face. This friend is a Taurus.
Tauruses are known for being stubborn, and even if you try to convince your friend that nobody was talking shit or that the dude only accidentally splashed his drink on her, she’s not going to listen to you. Instead, she’s going to get into a shit-talking match, which may or may not turn physical, and will most definitely involve her getting kicked out of the bar.
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GEMINI: The friend who hooks up with randos and cries about it in the morning
There’s nothing wrong with being a thot, but if you can’t admit it to yourself or your friends, everyone’s going to get annoyed with you. Geminis are known for being indecisive and inconsistent, and their drunken hook-up behavior exhibits this in a special way.
They get drunk, hook up with a rando, and wake up the next morning to meet you for brunch and elaborate on how they “never do stuff like this” and are just trying to “meet a nice guy.”
Gemini, if you want to bang randos, have a blast! Just don’t feel the need to justify your actions to others or act like you are the virgin Mary when IRL you’ve fucked seven dudes named Matt. That’s hypocritical and annoying!
CANCER: The friend who hooks up with people she shouldn’t
Who other people hook up with isn’t always your business, but it is if it’s your BFF. Especially if your BFF is hooking up with someone she shouldn’t be hooking up with – like your mutual friend’s boyfriend or her crazy ex.
Cancers DGAF about burning bridges when they’re drunk and horny. They’re manipulative and suspicious, and if they see something they want, they’ll go get it – even if it means hurting someone else in the process. They’re also insecure, and although they won’t admit it, getting with a married guy just makes them feel good about themselves for a hot second. Yikes.
LEO: The friend who needs to Snapchat everything
Leos love being the center of attention and they love being admired. They’re also arrogant, and would rather spend the night making themselves look sexy and tipsy on their Snapchat story rather than actually having fun. They hate being ignored, so if the cute guys at the bar aren’t going to talk to them, they’re going to post a seductive selfie on Snap for some attention. If there’s a party photographer, a Leo is going to run over and start twerking in his face.
VIRGO: The friend who always makes you black out
Do you have one friend that you always end up blacking out with whenever you go out with them? That friend might just be a Virgo. Virgos are one of the most careful signs in the zodiac, and they’re also known for being all work and no play. So instead of them getting drunk, they’ll get you drunk.
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LIBRA: The friend who’s searching for a boyfriend
Loneliness is unnatural and very sad for the Libra, so instead of working on herself and figuring out how not to feel lonely when she’s alone, she goes out to get drunk and fill the void. She’s the type of friend that will never have a good night unless she got hit on and exchanged numbers with at least one hottie. It’s not about the music, or the drinks, or the crowd, it’s about her getting one step closer to finding bae – and probably taking someone home.
SCORPIO: The friend who can’t hang
Ah, Scorpio. They’re known for being the kinksters of the zodiac, but when it comes to going out, they can’t seem to make it until the club closes without falling asleep standing up. Judging by their Instagram page and their goth club-girl style, you’d think they’d rage till dawn, but they’re kind of a let down when you invite them to the club.
Maybe they just can’t let their calm and cool guard down to twerk around the club, or maybe they just can’t adjust their sleep schedule for the weekend. Either way, maybe invite your Scorpio friend over for tea at 4 p.m. instead of to the bar at night.
SAGITTARIUS: The friend who disappears
Everyone does dumb shit when they’re drunk, for Sagittarius, that dumb shit is going off with strangers while drunk – or simply going home without telling any of her friends, leaving them to worry. Sagittariuses are idealistic and like to travel, so instead of worrying if the rando guy from the club is a serial killer, they figure everything will be just fine.
They also hate being constrained and hate clingers, so it annoys them that their responsible friends feel the need to “check in” with them. Even though, you know, they’re being smart.
CAPRICORN: The friend that acts like a mom and judges you
I take back what I said about everyone doing dumb shit when they’re drunk, Capricorns don’t. Or, they act like they don’t. Every time you go to your Capricorn friend hungover with a funny story from last night, she’ll respond with some shit like, “aren’t you embarrassed?” Or, “I would never do something like that.”
When you go out with a Capricorn, she’ll act weird about going over to randos for free drinks while muttering something about feminism, and she’ll even occasionally hit you with the, “Do you really need another tequila shot?” Capricorns are known to be responsible, disciplined, and condescending, so just tell your friend to chill.
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AQUARIUS: The friend who gets mad when you leave early
There comes a time in your life when you can’t stay out until 4 am on a weeknight (or even on a weekend), and your Aquarius friend hates you for it. Aquariuses are temperamental and uncompromising, so even when you warn her in advance that you have an early spin class and are only staying out until 1:30, she gets salty when you dip.
Aquariuses hate limitations, but they also hate broken promises, so if you’re trying to stay cordial with your friend, don’t lie and say you’ll stay out until 2 when you know you’re going to be calling an Uber at midnight. Aquariuses also hate being alone, so even though they might seem like bitches when you leave the club, it might just be that they wanted your company and have an odd way of showing it.
PISCES: The friend who cries
Depending on your personality (or your sign), some of these friends are worse than others, but if you’re the type of person who has no clue how to console sad people, you should maybe not go out with a Pisces. They’re the emos of the zodiac sign, known for being sad and playing the victim or martyr. Chances are, when they get a little (or a lot) of alcohol in them, they’re going to start blubbering like a baby.