How To Travel With Sex Toys Without Getting Caught
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Sometimes, your vibrator is just as important as your makeup bag.
Sure, sometimes you can get through a week without some self-love, but sometimes you fucking can’t. Or, you might be traveling with bae and want to bring some toys for extra fun. Whatever it is, if you’re taking a plane you’re probs concerned about going through security.
Even when you don’t have sex toys, when a TSA agent goes through your bag it’s always semi-embarrassing. Somehow it feels personal…now imagine how personal that would feel if he pulled out your 12 inch dildo…yeah. Thankfully, with these tips you can bring as many dildos as you want and you shouldn’t ever be flagged on the “do not fly” list.
Take The Batteries Out
This will ensure that your vibrating friend will not turn on mid-inspection or worse–mid-flight and worry your seat mate that you’re carrying this bomb when really all you have is that bomb ass pussy.
Sure, it can be a pain to take out the batteries of the smaller toys, but it can also be a pain to get stopped at security and scowled at by your fellow passengers.
Pack It Between Other Shit
Obviously, if you pack your dildo in the non-zippered pocket in the front of your suitcase, there’s a big chance it’s going to raise some alert (trust me on this one). Basically, pack it as deep as you can and in as many container as you can. Perhaps inside a cosmetic bag and wrapped by a sweater? Even if your bag still gets buzzed, you’ll at least have time to explain (awkwardly) to the TSA dude before he whips out your Hitachi Magic Wand in front of everybody.
Pack Non-Electronic Toys
It seems that most toys have some sort of vibrating element these days, but if you have a good old-fashioned low-tech dildo, that’s probs your best option.
Invest In A Toy That Locks
Some sex toys have lock mechanisms, which will be useful if you’re trying to make sure it won’t randomly turn on in the middle of your flight.
Go Minimalist
The sleeker and more basic the toy, the better. Leave your hot pink furry rabbit at home and pack your egalitarian black vibe instead. If you do get searched, it’ll be way less likely to draw attention of your fellow passengers.
Don’t Bring Anything Dangerous
It’s chill if you’re into knife-play or caning, but you’re probs not going to be able to bring any of that shit carry-on. Sorry.
Don’t Lie
If an airport employee asks what’s hiding in your bag, don’t try to BS them. You’re only going to piss them off and alert them. Rest assured that you’re not the first chick that’s brought sex toys through the airport, and you certainly won’t be the last. Besides, why be embarrassed about having sex toys anyways? Sorry your sex life is way more fun than all the other lame-os at the airport.
