How to Dress ‘Appropriate’ When It’s Hot as Balls Out
It’s one thing to dress appropriately for your boo’s parents when it’s cold outside, but it’s another when it’s hot af — especially when all your summer clothes are thotty. You don’t want to have to spend money fugly clothes just to impress your boo’s parents, but you also don’t want his mom to raise an eyebrow.
Don’t worry, there are ways to appear family appropriate without compromising your style, and if all else fails, peek into your preppy roommate’s closet and see what she’s packing.
1. Bralets Are Your New BFF
If you’re still rocking the Victoria’s Secret Bombshell bra, this is the time to leave it at home. Your SO’s parents are not going to be impressed with your mountains of cleavage, and all that padding is going to leave you feeling like a sweaty mess.
Instead, find a comfortable bralet that will allow you and your titties to breathe while simultaneously toning down the boobalicious vibe. Just remember that no matter how cute that lacy bralet is, you probs shouldn’t be baring any undergarments while hanging with the fam, they DGAF if it’s trendy.
2. Invest In A Pair of Semi-Modest Shorts
I can’t be the only one with 10 pairs of jean shorts that all manage to ride up my ass, can I? Regardless, you don’t have to invest in any unfortunate Bermuda shorts in order to be mom-approved. Any shorts that cover your ass without hugging it too ridiculously will do. After all, it is summertime. But if you’ve been gifted with a Kim K donk that manages to make itself known in anything you wear, maybe opt for a skirt instead.
3. Sun Dresses Are a Major Key
Dresses are one and done, which makes it a cinch to concoct a easy, breezy, non-sleazy look to “wow” your bae’s fam. Plus, a flowy option like the ones above will keep you super cool, even if your wannabe mother-in-law starts asking you super personal questions like if you’re on birth control or not. Just don’t go for anything bodycon, you’re not trying to show her your IUD through your dress.
4. Maxi Skirts Are Also An Option
You know you’ve still got a maxi-skirt laying around from when those were super trendy. If you don’t, most stores have updated versions (i.e.: with slits) that you can wear over and over again. Just make sure the slit isn’t too high so that you don’t accidentally get drunk and flash vag at the family picnic, that would be a little awk.
5. Leave Your Hybrid Thong Bikini At Home
It’s the beach, people are showing skin. You don’t need to search for one of those full-body suits for religious people or pull out your swim-team one piece from high school. That being said, you also shouldn’t decide to rock that thong you bought in Miami over spring break, or that Minimale Animale suit that is essentially all mesh. If you already have a trendy one piece or high waisted bikini, this would be a great time to wear it, but any regular non-ass-exposing bikini would be fine also.
6. You Don’t Need Your Stripper Heels
Just like your boyfriend’s mom isn’t going to be impressed with your ample cleavage, she also won’t be impressed with your 6-inch heels. There’s no need to strut from relative to relative while having to lean down to hear them speak. You don’t have to wear ballet flats (god forbid), but sandals or a low heel/wedge should be fine. Your heels don’t have to be high to be statement-making.
7. Bond Over Mom Brands
Michael Kors may not be cool anymore, but your boyfriend’s mom doesn’t know that. If you pull out your typical “mom brands” you guys will have something to bond about. Sure, your Tory Burch flats may have been a never-worn gift from your aunt, but you can pretend that they’re your fave shoes ever. If nothing else, wouldn’t you rather be able to say that your shoes are from Tory Burch rather than Nasty Gal?