The Hottest Male Celebs From Every State in the USA
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I don’t like to brag, but when it comes to hot guys, I’m an expert.
While other children dutifullyÂ memorized the capitals of each state, I was busy figuring out who the hottest male celebs were from each of the 50 states.
Actually, that’s a lie. I only wish I was that focused on the important things in life that early, but it sounds a hell of a lot better thanÂ the truth, which is that I’m just a girl who wanted to spend all day looking at hot guys.
In all honestly though, this was a hard assignment.
Pretty much all theÂ hottest male celebs wereÂ born in California.
In fact, some states didn’t have any hot male celebs born there at all.
Was your state one of those unlucky ones? Or was it brimming with hometown hotties.
Read on to find out.
At some point in your life, you’ve probably had a sexual thought about Channing Tatum. It was most likelyÂ while watchingÂ Magic Mike and probsÂ not while watchingÂ Dear John,Â because you would never be lame enough to watchÂ Dear John. Â
This shows you how little we had to work with for Alaska. Literally nobody hot is born in Alaska. Besides Holly Madison.Â On the plus size,Â Bob is a very gifted painter and could probably paint a very flattering picture of you naked. Or at least paint you like he paints the French girls, which is not at all, because Bob Ross only paints landscapes and looks like the kind of person who would have aÂ heart attack after seeing a boob up close.
Joe Jonas and I have had our differences in the past, but I’m not one to hold a grudge. He may not be the hottestÂ guy that Gigi Hadid has ever dated, but he is the hottest famous dude to ever be born in Arizona,Â if only because his little brother Nick had the decency to be born somewhere else.
Josh Lucas isn’t really a thing anymore, but he was considered cute by teenage girls who liked to watchÂ Sweet Home AlabamaÂ in the 2000s, like me. He looks less cute now that I’m not 14, but nostalgia is an overpowering mistress, and he gets my vote.
There were literally so many hot guys that I could have gone with here, but I went with America’s favorite fuckboy who maybe vapes and listens to MGMT’s “Electric Feel” on noise canceling headphones during sex or else he can’t climax, otherwise known as Leonardo DiCaprio.
Did you know that the guy who played Napoleon Dynamite is kinda cute in real life in an “I might accidentally bite your labia while eating you out because my teeth are so prominent, but I promise I’ll make it up to you with my sweet dance moves” kinda way?
Apologies,Â there wasn’t a lot to work with here.
Yes, John Mayer is a fuckboy, but when I was younger I thought there was a good chance that we were going to get married and even now, when I look at an old picture of him, all the feelings come rushing back and I feel like a young girl of 15 again: virginal, bright eyed, and delusional as fuck.
Sean Patrick Thomas
Again, Sean Patrick Thomas was kind of a 2000s thing, but he put up with Julia Styles at her sartorial worst, so that means he’s deserving of any of us at our best.
Forget everything you know about Wilmer. Dude is hot. Like if you saw him at the bar, you’d think to yourself, “Boy can get it.” Plus, on the bright side, if that did happen, as it theoretically could seeing as he’s single now, just think about all the famous female celebrities you could call your eskimo sisters!!!!
Full disclosure, I had never heard of Omari Hardwick until today. But looking at this picture of him getting out of a pool with a soaking wet shirt sticking to his bulging muscles makesÂ me feel wet. Of course, that could have something to do with the fact that my apartment has no air conditioning, but let’s pretend it’s all Omari, kay?
Barack Obama is a dad I’d LOVE to fuck, if I wasn’t so afraid of Michelle Obama beating me up or becoming the next Monica Lewinsky.
Aaron Paul is Idaho’s finest, and that says a lot about Idaho. Don’t vacation in Idaho, ladies. Don’t go to college there. And for the love of casual sex, don’t let your children be born there. The odds just aren’t in their favor.
If you’ve never seenÂ Say Anything, I don’t expect you to understand this choice. You probably know John Cusack as a jowly, disgruntled man who loves dogs and runaway jurors, or maybe you don’t know him at all, but John Cusack taught me what love was supposed to look like and set me up for years of romantic disappointment, and for that, I’ll be forever indebted to him.
I’ll always love you,Â Lloyd Dobler.
James Dean has been dead for years, but he’s still the best Indiana has to offer, which is sad for Indiana, but also, who cares about Indiana?
Back in the day Ashton Kutcher was a hot piece of ass who looked like he was dumb. This character trait got him cast in a television show which became a hit and introduced him to his future wife. I bring this up as a lesson to all you ladies out there: just because he looks dumb doesn’t mean he can’t wind up being a millionaire some day, and nothing screams “husband material” louder than a hot guy with money.
Scott Foley has played a variety of guys that leading ladies have wanted to fuck over the years, ergo… he must be be hot. He also loves puppies and hasn’t let himself turn into a flabby doughboy in his 30s, which is a good sign for his future fuckability.
George Clooney isn’t as hot as he used to be, but there’s still something about him. I’m not sure if it’s his eyes, his face or his charm, but it’s definitely one of those.
What Lil Wayne lacks in traditional good looks, he makes up for in willingness to rap about eating pussy. We could all do worse.
If you need me, I’ll be in the elevator, waiting for Dr. McDreamy to get on and make out with me.
One word: “Pony.”
John Krasinski used to look really cute, and then he got super ripped, and now it’s kind of confusing, but he could still probably get it because look at that face.
Is it just me, or does Taylor Lautner look like that guy you fucked that one time because you got really drunk and ended up getting hypnotized by his kind eyes, only to wake up in the morning and realize that when he smiles, his teeth are so blindingly white that they take over his face so you never call him back, even though he was actually really good in bed?Â
I remember Josh Hartnett looking a lot hotter than he seems to me right now, but growing up, this was one of the biggest heartthrobs of his day.
Your grandmother had a crush on Elvis, and your grandmother had a good taste. They called him “Elvis the Pelvis” for a reason.
Jon Hamm is so classically good looking that it hurts to look at him sometimes. Also, he has a famously large penis. That never hurts. Unless it does. But he had the same girlfriend for 18 years, soÂ that’sÂ probably not a problem for him.
Before he got fat and crazy, Marlon Brando was bae af.
Nick Nolte was votedÂ People‘s Sexiest Man Alive in 1992.
This is the picture they ran for the cover.
1992 was a confusing time, people.
Matthew Gray Gubler
Ladies, this is Matthew Gray Gubler. IMDB tells me he’s on a show calledÂ Criminal Minds, which is a show I think my parents watch whenever NCIS isn’t on. He has a specific look, which might make you weak in the knees, or it might make you walk out of the bar. Nevada does not have a large amount of hot male celebs to choose from.
Wilson Bethel is on a show called “Heart of Dixie” with Rachel Bilson, that girl who used to play Summer onÂ The O.C.Â I think we can all agree that he is not bad looking.
Paul Rudd is boyfriend material. He’s cute, he’s funny, and his movies make millions at the box office.
Adrian doesn’t really photograph well, but he played a movie star on TV, so you know there’s something there.
Let’s hear it for the token silver fox of the list.
I do not know whether or not Chris Paul is a good basketball player, but I do know that even when his face is covered with sweat, he still looks handsome, and that has to mean something.
Fergie’s husband is HOT.
LeBron has a lot of tattoos and he makes a lot of money. What more could a girl want?
Always a babe.
This is sad for Rhode Island. Somebody fromÂ The Jersey ShoreÂ is their HOTTESTÂ male celebrity. Think of Rhode Island in your prayers tonight, unless you’re not religious, in which case, just forget about it. Like literally, forget about this. It’s really embarrassing for them.
This is Chadwick Boseman. He’s 6’0” and he’s single. You’re welcome.
Bob Barker may not be the kind of man you traditionally think of as hot, but think about it: his entire job while he was alive was to give people money. He was America’s sugar daddy, and if that’s not sexy, I don’t know what is.
Before Justin Timberlake was a corny dad, he was a cute, sensitive guy who just wanted to make the world a sexier place through song, dance, and matching denim.
Ladies, it doesn’t get better than this.
Dancing With the StarsÂ is not a TV program that’s for everybody, but Derek Hough is. I know he may not look like anything special to you now, but I have gotten each and every roommate I’ve ever lived with to watch this show with me because of how hot he is when he moves his hips and takes off his shirt. Bible.
Vermont may be for lovers, but it doesn’t have a lot to offer in the lovers department. Sorry, Bernie.
Pharrell Williams doesn’t age, which is both frightening, and a turn on.
He may have been a serial killer, but he sure was a cutie.
Thomas Stonewall Jackson
West Virginia has literally nothing to offer in terms of hot male celebs. I apologize.
IÂ want to run my fingers through the forrest of his chest hair.
As in life, sometimes the last man in front of you is just a big disappointment.
Plan your vacations accordingly.