The Real Reason Jennifer Westfeltd Broke Up With Jon Hamm

On Labor Day while you were busy BBQing, hanging out on the beach and wearing white, Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt were busy breaking up. And because they’re celebrities, they couldn’t just keep it to themselves and a small circle of friends, they had to tell the entire world.

In a joint statement to Page Six, Hamm and Westfeldt told us all that, “with great sadness, we have decided to separate, after 18 years of love and shared history,” although don’t worry because they went on to assure us that “we will continue to be supportive of each other in every way possible moving forward.”

While some people are out there speculating that the couple’s breakup is somehow linked to Jon Hamm’s stint in rehab, or the fact that they’re still just dating after eighteen years together, we’re here to tell you the real reason why Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt broke up: his dick was just too big.


[The Superficial/Image via Splash News]

It’s a well-known fact that Jon Hamm has an enormous penis.  There have been countless articles written about it, and you’ve probably read at least three of them.

In fact, maybe the only thing that’s bigger than Jon Hamm’s penis is how fixated we all seem to be on it. Unlike Jon, his penis has a nickname: the Hammaconda.


Jon Hamm’s penis, which we’ll refer to hereafter by its Internet-given nickname, Hammaconda, not only has its own Facebook page, but multiple Tumblr fan pages, one of which dedicated an entire post to the story of the Hammaconda (which is where I learned he ejaculates liquid silver and is currently working on the world’s first line of penile cosmetics).

Even if Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt didn’t break up because she literally couldn’t handle his penis anymore, it must be hard to be in a relationship with somebody who’s as famous for his dick as he is for his acting.

But what do you think, did they break up because he was a big dick, or because he had a big dick?

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