Stop Trying To Make ‘Mooning’ Happen, It’s Not Going To Happen
Ghosting was cool.
Well, it wasn’t cool, it sucked. But like, the phrase “ghosting,” was genius and a huge hit in terms of hip-single-people slang.
After ghosting came benching, which wasn’t as widely spread, but also super relatable and so sh*tty that we had to make a word for it. Lastly, there was haunting, when a ghost comes back from the “dead.” It’s not viral yet, but we’re working on it.
But never, ever was there “mooning.”
WTF is mooning, you may ask? Well, according to GQ it’s the act of turning your IPhone on “Do Not Disturb” mode in order to avoid someone. This comes from the little moon icon that appears when your phone is not Do Not Disturb.
Alright, everyone uses “Do Not Disturb” mode. Well maybe not everyone, but I do sometimes, when I want to take a nap or when I’m about to be in a meeting or in a movie (maybe in a movie, probs not).
I’m pretty sure that nobody, not even the ghostiest of the ghosters, uses Do Not Disturb mode when they’re trying to avoid a potential bae. Like, Do Not Disturb mode doesn’t help you block off a specific person, it just blocks off everybody. And not having your phone buzz when some loser from Thursday night texts you doesn’t mean that you’re not going to get the text and potentially still have to make the conscious decision of responding or not.
Also, mooning is originally the act of pulling down your pants and showing your ass, a favorite past time of immature boys everywhere, not something that we can apply to modern day dating.
Seriously, if someone told me they were mooning me, I’d just be like, “um okay, I don’t really want to see your hairy ass, thanks though.”
If someone is ignoring you, they just ignore you. They don’t need to put on a special setting on their phone or click the little moon icon on their IPhone menu. They just do it.
In conclusion, just like fetch, stop trying to make mooning happen, it’s not going to happen. Okay?
