What Guys Do to Show They Don’t Want a 2nd Date
When you’re in college, official “dates” are unheard of. And then, as soon as you graduate (and download a dating app) you’re going on first dates more often than you do your laundry.
This is chill, ‘cuz who doesn’t love an excuse for (hopefully free) dranks on a weeknight? But at the same time, it can be weird going on a old-fashioned date and trying to determine if the dude had as good a time as you did. After all, you can try to have a classy date, but it’s unlikely he’s going to call your home phone the next day asking you out again.
A Reddit thread asked dudes how they end their dates if they’re interested, and the good news is that you can stop overanalyzing and overthinking. If a dude wants to see you again, he’ll make it pretty damn clear. The bad news is, if he does one of these things, he probably doesn’t want to see you again.
1. He Says, “Keep In Touch.”
I mean, honestly, this is the type of shit you write on your arch-nemesis’s yearbook when you’re 13. If you have to go out of your way to state that you’ll “keep in touch,” it means you don’t actually want to. Maybe you’ll make fake plans to “get drinks” without ever setting a real date and constantly ditching each other, but better to just not.
“Saying the words ‘Let’s keep in touch,’ is a nice way of saying, ‘thanks but, no thanks,'” said Reddit user Rambo_Brit3.
2. He Gives a Handshake
You might think if a guy doesn’t try to kiss you he’s not into you, but some guys are just classy like that, especially if they weren’t raised in America, land of ratchets.
But at the same time, he should at least try to hug you or give you a quick ‘lil cheek kiss. A handshake is concerning. Even at the beginning of the date that’s kind of weird. I mean, this isn’t a business transaction or a press conference, it’s a date?
3. He Doesn’t Hit You Up In The Next 48 Hours
Waiting for the person you’re crushing on to call (or send a text or a telegram or whatever) after a first date has been wrecking women’s lives since the dawn of time.
Being that we’re all feminists here, someone might tell you to say f it and just text the guy first. Well, sorry, but I’m going to pass on that. Because if I text first, I’ll never know if the guy is actually into me. Instead, take Reddit bros’ advice and use the 48 hour rule. If he hasn’t hit you up in 48 hours, he’s not about it.
Generally I’d say the sooner he texts you, the more likely he’s super into you. Plus, he clearly isn’t trying to play games. If he texts you after 48 hours, sorry, ya broke. He might be DTF, but you’re a back-up. It doesn’t matter if he was “busy” all week, it takes two seconds to send a text.
4. He Doesn’t Plan/Suggest a Second Date
Most of the guys on Reddit say they’ll potentially even mention another date during the first date if it’s going well, and if not that, they suggest another date via text. If he doesn’t plan or suggest another date idea, he’s either not that interested or really bad at being assertive. Or, he’s keeping you around as a back-up and just not going to put effort in unless it’s 2 a.m. and everyone else is busy.
5. But Don’t Forget Men Are Psychos
The shitty thing about dating is there are no rules or referees. A guy can technically do all of the above things right, and then still bounce out once you put out, or be a grade-A douche in some other way. At the end of the day, it’s all about your gut feeling and knowing how how to spot a fuckboy, which is really an acquired skill.