Why people unfollow you based on your zodiac sign
We all lose followers. If you’re anal about it then you probs have one of those apps that informs you every time it happens, and every lost follower is taking like a personal dagger to the heart/ego. It’s similar to a breakup, but you don’t get to know what you did wrong, and it happens too often to justify a pizza binge.
You may be posting too much, you may not be posting enough and you may be posting things LIT-RLY no one understands. This list may help you discover you why people have chosen to furiously scroll past your posts to the point of a dreaded unfollow.
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1. Aries (March 21-April 19)
You have been unfollowed for excessive posting. You are enthusiastic to an exxxtreme fault and your hashtags are more over the top than Mariah Carey wearing lingerie to make pizza with her children. Chill out with the no makeup Mondays, Transformation Tuesdays, and Throwback Thursdays. Even being extra has its limits bb!
2. Taurus (April 20-May 20)
You enjoy the finer things in life and that’s dope — but everyone is tired of seeing your online clothing hauls and your expensive dinner food porn. We get it, you order champagne in the club — you so fancy, girl, but enough is enough. Commes des f*ck down.
3. Gemini (May 21-June 20)
You are either fun, bubbly and posting blurry dancing pictures for all the world to see, or you’re posting dark humor memes about anxiety. People are legit confused, and simply don’t get it. You’re like the lead in an indie movie, but no one has decided you’re cool yet. Maybe give it time, or try a different approach.
4. Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Standard Hotel
You post too many pictures with captions that have nothing to do with the content. Maybe you should start a poetry blog or an angsty Tumblr account instead because your paragraph long captions are NOT being read. You are most likely to post too many text quotes as photos in between artsy sunset pictures, which you SWEAR are not basic. However, it’s time for the self-reflection that you are so good at, look inward and realize you’re buggin’ boo.
5. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
You are mostly likely to lose followers by using Facetune to death. No one’s skin is that smooth and people cannot take your deception any longer. You want to be loved and admired like a Kardashian on their birthday, but Facetune isn’t the answer. Editing apps are for covering the stray zits and editing out ex-boyfriends, not for making your nose completely disappear. The sexy Voldemort look isn’t coming into style any time soon.
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6. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
You’ve neglected your aesthetic and you aren’t posting nearly enough. So, you aren’t making the cut when your childhood friends are going through unfollowing sprees. Virgos are all hard work and no fun. You don’t have to be the center of attention, but come on you want SOME attention. Find a brand, be your brand, own your brand.
7. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
You hate being alone and every photo on your page a group squad shot. No one knows who the account actually belongs to. Therefore, people are becoming confused and opting out. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be surrounded by great people, but being alone isn’t that bad either. Make a fort, read a book, try yoga or embark on an eat, pray, (drunk in) love type of adventure. What is social media even for if not showing the world how interesting YOU are??
8. Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
You are really good at subtweeting and even sub-Instaing people. It’s just mysterious and aloof enough to have multiple people thinking you’re shading them. Everyone is tired of feeling called out, and personally victimized by Regina George (a.k.a. you). Maybe cool it and just shit talk your exes through group chats like the rest of us, or start an anonymous meme account, dragging everyone you know.
9. Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Your throwback photos from your epic travels are obnoxious AF. If you’re not across the country or in another country than your posting old travel photos of you eating pasta in Italy or flashing the Eiffel tower. You are wanderlusting HARD, and you are wander-hoeing it all over your Instagram.
10. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
You are boring. At first people thought your pictures and videos of boring everyday things were some type of performance art, but now it’s clear: you simply don’t know what to post. Take some risks or lose followers. All your posts are telling your family members happy birthday or pictures of your cat sleeping by the window. Broaden your horizons and photo document the hell out of it.
11. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19)
All your posts about being a good person are making people feel bad. Try to mix the personal and fun with the activism and social media warrior posts. You can’t preach your cause with zero followers. Balance is key — even Pocahontas took some time to go on boat rides and talk to trees in between trying to peacefully bring together two different worlds.
12. Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
Photo via Unsplash
You only post photos of concerts, museum visits and kitschy events. You are always promoting your own artistic endeavors via your Instagram, creating an overload of posters about gallery openings and coffee shop gigs. Maybe stick to the “Link in Bio” route. You’re intuitive enough to know how to gauge your followers interest a lil better. Get wit it, girl.
