Your Most Popular Friend Is Probably a Narcissist
Everyone has that friend. You know, the friend that everyone gravitates toward and obsesses over for no God damn reason.
Sure, she’s your friend and all, but you’ve always wondered: what does she have that I don’t have? Why do new people always become so into her whereas I have a tough time making fast friends right away?
Well, it turns out that your friend is probably a narcissist.
A very satisfying new study done in Poland followed college freshmen and found that while narcissists made fast friends and gained popularity easily, they eventually ended up getting ditched by the friends and had trouble maintaining relationships. This makes sense, because it’s probably difficult to care about other people when you’re so obsessed with yourself,
But attracting new friends isn’t the only thing that narcissists are good at, they’re amazing at Twitter, they’re great at taking selfies, and they do better on job interviewers.
So if nothing else, we can take a little solace in the fact that while the self-absorbed people may win over a room initially, their new “friends” will soon disappear.
“Narcissism is detrimental for finding new friends,” explains co-author of the study Philip Leifeld to Broadly. “On first impression, narcissists are successful in finding friends, but over time the pattern is reversed. The less narcissistic you are, the better you are at finding friends.”
The good news? While you may not be Ms. Popular initially, you’ll probably have more friends in the long run.
“Emotional intelligence doesn’t initially help you to be identified as a potential friend, but over months people will appreciate the personality trait and seek out your friendship,” said Leifeld to Broadly.
But keep in mind that emotional intelligence isn’t the same as regular old intelligence. So if you don’t have emotional intelligence and you’re not a narcissist, you’re probs not very popular, sorry!
But shit, who cares about being popular? This isn’t a high school sitcom from the early 2000s. It’s always better to have a couple of good friends rather than a bunch of friends who secretly don’t even like you, which is probably how the narcissists’ lives are.
Besides, you have other shit to worry about besides friends, like how you’re going to stack that paper or how many episodes of Stranger Things you can watch in one sitting.
