John Mayer Shared His F*ckboy Beauty Routine on Snapchat
Have you ever wondered how a passÃ© pop-star like John Mayer bags chicks like Katy Perry, Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Aniston, Minka Kelly, and Taylor Swift? Well, now you have the answerâ€“ in the form of a Snapchat.
No, it’s not a dick-pic that was accidentally posted to his story, it’s actually a weird beauty-tutorial style snap video of his skincare routine.
Why did good ol’ John decide to put up a 120 second Snapchat story detailing his face washing routine? We’re not quite sure. Perhaps he’s newly sponsored by ProActiv through his ex Katy Perry, perhaps he’s single and looking for attention via Snapchat followers, or perhaps he’s trying to jump on the blogger train and make some extra cash.
Either way, John’s droopy face and scruffy mustache aren’t exactly making us want to latch on to his beauty advice. Instead, they’re making us scratch our heads even more regarding the fact that he probs fucked all of the aforementioned Hollywood hotties.
This, ladies and gentleman, is a true fuckboy at work. What other type of guy would be able to sing emosh songs like “Your Body Is Wonderland” and simultaneously be one of Hollywood’s biggest players, all while maintaining his completely average at best appearance?
Seriously, the best way to describe John Mayer’s look is “average ass dude that would never stick out in a crowd,” but somehow, someway, he’s managed to seduce hot A-listers like Jennifer fucking Aniston.
Honestly, all John’s skincare routine managed to do was make us pissed off that a boring-ass dude like John Mayer has the ability to spend $1,457 on skincare products (that was his total, according to Refinery 29) while we’re over here scrounging for a free sample at Sephora. Honestly, maybe that’s how John Mayer has gotten with so many hotties, perhaps they like staying over and stealing his beauty products?