An In-Depth Analysis of the First Family’s Inauguration Garb

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Unless you’ve been living under a rock than you know today’s the day everybody’s least favorite bigot got to become the most powerful man in the country.

To celebrate this momentous day, all the members of his family showed up and wore clothes they thought would look good on camera while also making themselves look like their fame isn’t built around a reality show.

Most of them failed.

But here’s our in-depth analysis of what they all wore anyway.

READ ALSO: Trump’s Inauguration Concert Was Empty AF Last Night 

Melania Trump

Melania is one of the few members of the first fam who was officially dressed by a designer, but you almost wouldn’t know it by how poorly her outfit fit her.

This was actually a running theme in the Trump family’s outfits, which leads me to believe their personal tailor voted for Hillary.

ANYWAY.

Melania wore a powder blue cashmere Ralph Lauren dress with a matching cashmere jacket and suede gloves to the inauguration, and tied her usually free-flowing hair back into a classy-rich bish looking ass updo.

Or to put into laymen’s terms, Melania wore an updated version of what Jackie Kennedy wore to her husband’s inauguration, which makes sense — plagiarism is practically synonymous with Melania’s brand at this point.

READ ALSO: Melania Trump Plagiarized Michelle Obama So Everyone’s Making Fun of Her 

That’s actually Katie Holmes playing Jackie on the left, but you get the idea.

A day earlier, for the inaugural concert, Melania wore a black Norisol Ferrari military-style knee-length coat and matching dress and literally nobody cared because they couldn’t take their eyes of Ivanka.

Welcome to the next four years of your life, Melania.

Ivanka Trump

As we’ve already wrote about in depth, Ivanka wore a formal skort to the inauguration, but what we didn’t tell you is it was a skort by Oscar de la Renta.

READ ALSO: Ivanka Trump Basically Wore a Formal Skort to the Inauguration 

While we’re still trying to figure out whether or not Ivanka was officially dressed by the designer or not, our money’s on not.

Ivanka’s been a lifelong fan girl of the brand, so we wouldn’t be surprised if she bought it herself.

And earlier, for the inaugural concert, she also wore an Oscar de la Renta dress and coat. And it was green so everybody looked at it and “oohed” and “aahed” at how great and sophisticated she looked.

But the best part is, she was wearing her own shoes.

Like Ivanka Trump-branded shoes.

She may not be in charge of the label anymore, but that doesn’t mean she can’t still represent.

Tiffany

Poor Tiffany.

For the inauguration itself she somehow ended up wearing the K-Mart version of Ivanka’s outfit.

And even though Tiffany tried to hide this by wearing pearls and gloves to class it all up, she was forced to stand next to Ivanka all day, so everybody noticed anyway.

And things didn’t go much better for Tiffany at the inaugural concert yesterday either when she wore another double-breasted jacket, reportedly by alice + olivia by Stacey Bendet.

But you probably barely noticed her because you were too busy looking at Ivanka, right?

Story of Tiffany’s LIFE.

READ ALSO: Donald Trump Gives Tiffany $500 a Month Because Ivanka Told Him To 

Donald Trump

True to his brand, Donald’s Republican-red tie was so long he could have tucked it into his pants and wrapped his non-existent penis in it.

WHEN WILL HE LEARN HOW TO DRESS HIMSELF?

Donald’s Boy Spawn Nobody Cares About

Donald Trump has sired three male offsprings and literally the only one people care about is his boy child with Melania, and that’s just because he looks bored af whenever he’s out in public with the fam.

They all wore boring suits with coats.

And the youngest one’s tie was way too long, just like Donald’s.

Le snooze.

Boys, bye.

Kellyanne Conway

Kellyanne Conway isn’t an official member of the Trump family, but her outfit was so extra I have to include it.

THERE ARE CAT BUTTONS ON IT.

CAT BUTTONS!!!!

And believe it or not, this dress isn’t from Yandy, it’s from Gucci and it cost $3,600.

The things rich people buy for themselves.

Gimme More Fashion

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