Gwyneth Paltrow Is Now Selling Organic Lube
When you think of Gwyneth Paltrow, you probably don’t think of a middle-aged sex guru, but goddamn it, girl knows a thing or two about what to give a parched vagina that really hits the spot, okay?
Yesterday Gwyneth Paltrow was a guest on Chelsea Handler’s new Netflix talk show Chelsea, and she couldn’t stop raving about her hew new, nontoxic lube.
See, one day after a long day of binge watching another Netflix show that you may or may not watch, Grace and Frankie, Gwyneth got inspired.
On the show, Frankie, Lily Tomlin’s character, has been making her own lube out of yams for years because regular lube is filled with toxic chemicals.
That sounds gross right?
No, not the toxic chemicals part, the yams part.
Like we all eat yams. Yams are delicious. Why would you want to ruin a good thing by smearing tenderly cooked yams all over your pussy, right? Like, how is that even sexy?
Apparently, Gwyneth didn’t see it that way.
“We started thinking, is lube toxic? Why is she making homemade lube? And then we started reading [the ingredients]. We’re very conscious about nontoxic products at Goop. And we learned that lube is actually really toxic. It goes in very absorbent areas, as we know, so, yes, we found a nontoxic organic lube that we are now selling on Goop.com!”
And unlike that $15,000 gold dildo Gwyneth recently recommended that we all buy, this lube is actually affordable. Like, one bottle costs $13.
“We set out to find a lube that comes close and meets the standards of the Goop clean beauty shop, and to the joy of parched vaginas everywhere, we did.”
So stop what you’re doing right now, lean over and whisper to your parched vagina that you’re getting her a very special present and then cover her eyes so she can’t see you logging on to Goop’s website to buy the lube, k?
Of course, before you buy it you should probably know that this whole thing is the product of a Netflix partnership, but let’s be honest, if it’s good enough for Gwyneth’s vagina, then it’s more than good enough for you.
[H/T Us Weekly]
