How To Fake Your Very Own Promposal
Boys are idiots.
Whether you’ve got a boyfriend, are crushing on someone, or are single because no boys at your high school are worthy of someone like you; you’re probably going to prom.
The problem is, you’re seeing all of these unreal promposals on the internet while your boyfriend thought it was totally chill to ask you via Snapchat. Or maybe, you didn’t even get asked to the prom, so you decided to ask your guy friend from another school, and therefore you were the one doing the asking.
For a princess like you, this just won’t do. In fact, how will all of your social media followers and/or classmates know how you really got asked to prom? They won’t. That’s why it’s totally okay to take matters into your own hands this prom season, just take it from one of our greatest icons, Cher from Clueless.
Cher flawlessly sent herself flowers and a sweet note, but this is 2016, and the bar has been set even higher. Take a look at this girl who got asked with a box of Chanel, Michael Kors, and Victoria’s Secret goodies.
First, you have to decide how far you want to take this little “I love me” project. Do you want to set it up so that all of your classmates and the asshole dude who should’ve asked you can watch as you get showered in roses? Or do you want to make it a bit easier on yourself and simply post a bunch of Snapchats or a cute Insta post?
If you’re going to do an IRL promposal, you might want to enlist the help of a trusted BFF or your mom (lol). Nothing would be more embarrassing than being caught putting flowers in your own locker, that’d be social suicide. If you’re too ashamed to ask someone for help, which you shouldn’t be, then you could potentially take advantage of a flower delivery service or an Edible Arrangements type deal. Unfortunately, that shit costs some major $$$, so you have to decide what’s important to you and if your dad is going to notice you spending $99 on chocolate covered strawberries or not.
If you’re going the social media route, this shit is easier than your freshman year English class. Basically, you get to do something that I know you’re great at doing – buying shit for yourself.
First, pick your favorite food. Personally, I would go with KFC, but if you want to do something a little more “romantic” that won’t completely destroy your prom diet, maybe a box of chocolates or your favorite candy.
Now, pick a little gift. Try not to go overboard with this one. I know, it’s hard. But if you try to act like some straight dude picked out that NAKED palette for you, girls are going to get a bit suspicious. Go for something that a basic boy with no imagination would pick out, like a piece of jewelry, a stuffed animal, flowers, or a car…
If you want to make a sign, go for it. But make sure to transform your beautifully rounded handwriting into some try-hard chicken scratch.
Now, all you really have to do is take a couple pictures of your beautifully crafted masterpiece, and let the likes and envy flow in. Oh, and the questions. Your girl group chat is probably already freaking out about who the F asked you to prom that way.
If you have a lame boyfriend that you are covering up for so he doesn’t look like a shit head, you can say it was him. If you don’t have a dude to speak of? That’s your last problem.
Sure, you could pull the boy-lying-about-his-virginity card and say it was a guy that you “met on a cruise last year” or “from summer camp,” but that could be a bit awk when no dude actually shows up to the prom.
Instead, you could always show up solo and claim that your guy had a last minute emergency. Or man up and admit that you asked yourself, because god damn it you are fabulous and you deserve candy, flowers, and an ugly cardboard sign as much as the next girl.