Apple’s Changing the Peach Emoji So it Won’t Look Like a Butt

And we thought a possible Trump presidency was bad news!

News broke today that Apple is updating the way emojis look on iPhones — and they’re needlessly altering one of our most precious little glyphs, the peach emoji.

Now, everybody knows the peach emoji is a butt. It just is. To suggest otherwise would be like suggesting the sky isn’t blue or rain doesn’t fall. You can’t just ask people why they’re white, Karen.

A big reason for this is the way the peach emoji was drawn in the first place. I mean, as you can see, it looks like a freaking butt.

But now, Apple is changing it — whenever the next iOS comes out — to look like this:

I mean, it still has kind of a butt crack, but the thrill is gone.

This is a huge bummer (pun intended, theeenkyouverymuch). Hasn’t Apple ever heard the saying “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”? Nothing was wrong with the peach-butt emoji. It was serving its purpose just fine.

BTW, there are also still no red-haired emojis in the new update, but that’s another issue.

So the only logical thing to do next is hold emoji auditions to figure out what can replace the peach as a stand-in for asses everywhere. Much like we now use the champagne bottle as a schlong in addition to the eggplant, we’ll have to find a brand new emoji to represent butt cheeks.

Cake, anyone???

[H/T Daily Dot]

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