9 Lies Every Girl Tells To Her Boyfriend’s Parents
Meeting your boyfriend’s parents is kind of like going to an interview. You have to pull out your token conservative outfit from your closet, you have to be agreeable af, and you basically have to mold yourself into whatever person you think your boo’s mom wants you to be.
Because of this fake-ness that inevitably will occur no matter how “chill” your bae’s mom is, you’re guaranteed to at least lie about something. It may be something small, like the fact that you don’t want more food when you secretly do. Or it might be something big, like the fact that you actually hate any outdoorsy activity and would rather sit inside reading all day. Whatever it is, you’ve probs lied about one of these to bae’s parents before.
1. “Oh my gosh, I love spaghetti and meatballs!”
First off, you never, ever say “oh my gosh” IRL. Second off, you’re currently on a vegan-paleo diet because you read that that’s how Bella Hadid eats and you’re really trying to lose five pounds. Spaghetti is totally going to ruin your two weeks of hard work and you’re crying inside while your tongue is crying tears of joy from finally having carbs. Very bittersweet.
2. “Oh yeah, camping is super fun!”
The last time you went camping was in the third grade with your girl scout troop. You quit the troop two days later. You’ll never understand why people who have homes choose to sleep outside in the dirt? You feel like the Parent Trap evil step-mom, but you also don’t even care anymore.
3. “I love to cook also!”
You’re using the term “cooking” quite loosely. Your boyfriend gives you a side-eye as he knows your idea of cooking is heating up a Lean Cuisine, but his mom doesn’t have to know that, right?
4. “I work at a website, I mostly write lifestyle stories.”
You write about dicks. Lots of dicks. Sometimes the occasional BJ tip.
5. “Ya win some, ya lose some, right?”
You have never ever said a corny phrase like this in your entire damn life.
6. “Oh no, I’m stuffed!”
You’re not actually full. You just either don’t like the food or feel awkward eating more than everyone else at the table.
7. “We met at a bar.”
You did meet at a bar, that part is true. What you won’t mention is the fact that you met at a bar after arranging it on Tinder.
8. “We’ve been dating for almost a year now!”
You’ve only been dating for five months, but you’ve been fucking since January, so it’s basically been a year when you count that.
9. “Aw thanks, this is one of my favorite dresses”
This isn’t even your dress. You borrowed it from your conservative roomie because everything you own is too thotty.
