6 Ways To Guarantee Your Tinder Date Never Hits You Up Again
Here at Galore, we’re all about letting your freak flag fly. But there’s a difference between being yourself on a first date and being an absolute psychopath. There are some things that you just shouldn’t do, and it’s not because you need to change for a guy, it’s just because if you’re meeting someone for the first (or second) time, you need to chill.
The more you try to be “fall-in-love-worthy” or whatever, the weirder you’re actually going to come off to your date. Don’t follow some weird ass “expert” advice like this Cosmo article that says you should ask about past relationships or all the times he’s been in love. If it doesn’t feel like a good idea in your gut, it’s not a fucking good idea.
1. Explain Your “Three Date Rule”
Having sex on the first date is cool, having sex on the 30th date is also cool (if you’re into that sort of thing). But do you know what’s not cool? Having some antiquated “rule” for yourself that determines when you’re allowed to get your orgasm on. The only thing possibly worse than instilling some psycho time-sensitive fucking rule on yourself would be if you decided to share this rule with your date when he invites you back to his place.
2. Ask If He’s Ever Been In Love
You’re on a date, not at a therapy session. No matter what some weird ass article on the internet told you, there’s no way that asking a dude if he’s ever been in love or asking about his exes is going to make you bond more on a first date. The only byproduct you’ll get from asking him questions like these is watching his eyes slowly widen in horror as he mentally calculates how to make a quick escape.
3. Order Something Just to Impress Him
Don’t order a cool IPA to seem chill for your hipster date, don’t order a salad because he seems like the type to date models. You’re going to ruin what could have been a good time by not enjoying what you’re eating/drinking. Get what you wanna get, because if you’re making a gross face while drinking straight whiskey he’s gonna think you’re a loser anyway. And if you somehow do end up dating even after you fake drink gin on the first date, you’re going to have to inevitably explain that you fucking hate gin eventually.
4. Peer Over His Phone While He’s Texting
While your date shouldn’t be using his phone on a first date to begin with (how rude!), that doesn’t mean that it’s okay for you to casually peer over your glass of Pinot Noir to see WTF is so important that he’s interrupting your killer story about your childhood dog named Skip. Checking bae’s phone isn’t cool during any stage of the relationship, but especially not before you actually have a relationship.
5. Say You’re “Not That Kind of Girl”
Any dude who has a brain knows that any girl who says she’s “not that kind of girl” is exactly that kind of girl. But what kind of girl anyways? The kind of girl who gives blow jobs in the Uber ride back from dinner? The kind of girl who is Taylor Swift level clingy and will try to define the relationship on the second date? Sure, there may be personality traits that you don’t want to share with your date within the first two hours of meeting him, but saying that you’re “not that kind of girl” is going to do the exact opposite. No reason to shame other girls in order to try to win over your Bumble date.
6. Start Using Pet Names
For some reason, lots of guys think it’s chill to start using pet names like “babe” and “sexy” on Tinder before they’ve even met you, and it’s not chill. But we don’t need to retaliate against this by using pet names on our date after we’ve slurped down four cocktails at dinner and are starting to get touchy. Don’t get all “tell me about it, stud,” unless you’re auditioning for a role in Grease. Please.