7 Things You Should Know Before Dating A Scorpio
In case you didn’t know, we’re officially in Scorpio SZN. Welcome to Hell.
Jk, Scorpio season is fab. We have Halloween, we have Election Day (also my birthday), we have the beginning of when it starts to get cold and we’re still trying to wear mini-skirts, it’s all great.
But if you’re trying to date a Scorpio, you should be warned. Because dating a Scorpio is a wild fucking ride, and you’ll probs never fully get over it.
1. You May Have To Pry Their Feelings Out Of Them
Scorpios are secretly emotional, but you’d never know that from looking at them, or even dating them. I mean, maybe if you date them for like over a year. But initially, they’re big ol’ brick walls of emotion (fun fact: an ex boyfriend called me that once).
So, if your Scorpio bae is acting down in the dumps but says everything is “fine,” guess what? They’re not fucking fine. And sorry, but you’re probs going to have to keep asking them what’s wrong, maybe buy them a donut, and figure that shit out. Because if it keeps building up inside a Scorpio, shits about to hit the fan eventually. Likely when they’re drunk.
On the other side of things, your Scorp is probs not going to tell you how much they care about you on the daily, or at all. Instead, they’ll show you with their actions, not cliche statements like “every day I spend with you is the best day of my life.”
2. Things Will Get Freaky Fast
That whole idea of trying kinky things to spice things up in a long term relationship? Nah. Scorpios want to do freaky things as soon as you guys start dating. Vanilla sex is not something that Scorpios look fondly upon, and even a quickie with no whips or chains will probs involve some light spanking.
Dating a Scorpio is something everyone should experience, because even if it doesn’t work out, your sex game will be majorly improved for your next partner.
3. Give Them Space
Lots of guys think that the way to a girl’s heart is to constantly shower them with attention and text them 24/7. That’s not the way to a Scorpio’s heart.
Sure, Scorpios love attention as much as the next person, but they also desperately need their alone time. Don’t be offended if you ask your Scorpio bae to hangout one night and they say no because they’ve seen you the last two evenings. It doesn’t mean they want to dump you, it just means that if they have to see your face for the fifth time in 72 hours, they might want to dump you.
4. If You’re Not In It For The Long Haul, GTFO
While Scorpios are freaky, they’re not always down for casual hookups. They’re more about finding a long-term partner that they can get freaky with constantly. If you’re only looking for a casual hookup, let a Scorpio know. They’ll appreciate your honesty, and you’ll have a way better chance of getting laid than if you pretended you were looking for something serious. If you try to play them, just remember that a Scorpio knows how to play the game way better than you do.
5. They’ve Got No Regrets
Scorpio’s are not ashamed about their past partners, mistakes they’ve made, or crazy shit they’ve done. And if you date them, you’re going to hear about all of it. If it weirds you out when your Scorpio bae brings up stories that involve an ex or old flame, you should probs get over it and grow up. Likewise, don’t try to shame them for shit they’ve done. Scorpios are confident in themselves and their decisions, they’re looking for a partner, not another parent.
6. They’ll Forgive, But Not Forget
Scorpios are known for being resentful, and they’re also characteristically truth-seekers. In other words? Don’t fuck up. A Scorpio will not only find out, but they’ll also probs hold it against you. Well, they’ll forgive you, but they won’t fail to bring it up in a future argument if they need to defend themselves. Sorry!
7. Support Their Goals
Scorpios don’t always know what they want, but when they do, nothing is going to stop them from achieving it. If your Scorpio bae wants to join the peace corps? You better not think for a second that you’re going to convince them to stay in NYC with you while you work at a hedge fund. Scorpios are loyal, so a LDR is doable if you’re equally as loyal, but don’t ever try to get in the way of their dreams, cuz they’ll leave your ass.