6 Thot-tastic Halloween Costumes Based On Lingerie
When it comes to Halloween and dressing up, you’re either the type whose been planning their ‘fit since last year, or you’re like the majority (me) and wait till the 31st to grab whatever generic bullshit is left on the barren shelves of Ricky’s. Bleak.
One of the many lucks of being a female, however, is that we’re pretty much always sitting on some sort of costume stock in our wardrobes, from lingerie and fantasy pieces, to statements items and over the top accessories. Still can’t be bothered? We put together a few iconic looks below to help inspire ideas, and I guarantee that at least one can be assembled using goodies from your own bedroom. Mean Girls, eat your heart out.
1. SAILOR MOON (OR GOON … OR POON)
C’mon, who hasn’t fantasized about being Usagi at some point or another? I’m actually ashamed that I haven’t attempted this during my 26 years on earth, especially after discovering these lingerie sets online a few years back. The lingerie sets are available at a bunch of other online retailers, plus they come in the full assortment of colors so you can coordinate with your squad. No time to cop the official costume? A classic schoolgirl set is all you need as a base, but the elbow length white gloves, bauble-wrapped high pigtails, and red knee-high boots are a non-negotiable.
1. Christian Louboutin ‘Armurabotta 120’ – if you’re not living in a fantasy, patent red knee-highs from your local sex shop or Pleaser can never go wrong. 2. Stretch Satin Dress Gloves 3. Sailor Moon Lingerie Costume 4. Stuffed ‘Luna’ Plush 5. Chibi Moon Compact (costume or not, you just need one of these)
2. ADRIANA LA CERVA
This might be more of a tri-state area girl kind of thing, but in my eyes Adriana was one of the undisputed early 2000s style vixens, filling our hearts with gangster fantasies of boosted next-season Prada shoes and leopard-print Dolce panties. The only problem with Ade’s look is that if you aren’t doing it absolute justice, you may just end up looking more like Hookers at the Point. In that case, I find a quick dusting of Zombie-esque face makeup solves any lackluster outfit. Dead call girl is more fun than regular call girl, no?
1. Balenciaga Over-The- Knee Boot (I doubt even Chrissy could have copped these —once again, if you’re not living on Fanta$y Island, any tried & true pair of knee or thigh highs will suffice.) 2. Agent Provocateur ‘Felinda’ Bra 3. Agent Provocateur ‘Felinda’ Brief 4. Anthony Vaccarello Vinyl Mini – or another great sex shop buy! 5. Vintage Chanel backpack – good luck tracking this one down! (Pro Tip: Mom closets always seem to house ancient gems like these.) 6. For the sake of information they sell a huge assortment of press-ons at your local pharmacy, but for the sake of your nails and Adriana’s memory, please just go ahead and treat yourself to a proper set at the nail salon. Even Halloween doesn’t excuse a bad nail job. 7. 14K Two-Tone Gold Rosary.
3. BETTIE PAGE / CLASSIC PINUP
I find that when it comes to trying the lingerie-as-outerwear concept for Halloween, a lot of the more conservative females might be worried it’s “too much.” If you ask me, the pinup route is about as classic as a skimpy look can get. A sexy bodysuit that sucks everything in, a strong fishnet to cover & camouflage leg imperfections, and a nice patent pump to stomp your way to endless free drinks. Grrrrrr.
1. Agent Provocateur ‘Felinda’ Bodysuit 2. Eddie Borgo Gold-Plated Choker 3. Stuffed Cheetah – but any exotic stuffed pet will do! 4. Tom Ford ‘Padlock’ pump, which can easily be substituted with whatever black pumps you have at home; patent is preferable. 5. Wolford fishnets – or whichever ones you have on hand.
4. CHER HOROWITZ
Another Halloween look I’ve shamefully never attempted even though Clueless contributed to about 90% of my vocabulary in grade school. *Eye Roll Emoji* If you want to be lazy you can just go ahead and buy the mass-made costume, which regardless of probably being cheap as fuck looks like something you might actually reuse in some capacity. Otherwise you just need a yellow plaid skirt, a yellow cardigan, some white knee-highs, and a fabulous little purse that couldn’t even fit Cher’s actual cell phone. As if! Oh yeah, can’t forget the fluffy pen!
5. EYES WIDE SHUT
Not only have I always adored the movie and Kubrick, but the entire idea that somewhere high above the swarm of oblivion in Central Park and on Madison Avenue, there are very freaky, very elite things happening in elusive penthouses, is rather exciting. Getting access to such events is all about knowing the right people, but during this time of year, invitations seem way more accessible.
(Pssst…the password is Fidelio.)
1. Giuseppe Zanotti Sandals 2. Agent Provocateur ‘Akiko’ Pasties 3. Black Panties, La Perla 4. Venetian Mask – any costume shop should have a decent selection, but I personally recommend your nearest Halloween Adventure location. 5. Cloak – available wherever you find your mask, or you can whip one up if you’re crafty. 6. There’s no way you don’t already have one of these chokers. 7. Agent Provocateur ‘Xena’ Double Cuffs
6. THE SEXY SKELETON
Perhaps the most classic option of the bunch, and with 90% of the outfit consisting of pajamas, it’s easily the coziest too. I actually bought this onesie at Victoria’s Secret last year and even though it felt kind of stupid at the time, it’s ended up being one of my favorite VS purchases ever. There’s a booty flap too, so I’ll let your imagination run wild with that. Accessorize with some matching kicks, a fuss-free backpack, and a pair of bone gloves for the cherry-on- top. Aside from the skeleton suit itself, it’s also crucial to do the skull face paint for this look; you won’t be able to use or touch your face all night, but worth it.
1. Victoria’s Secret Skeleton Onesie 2. Agent Provocateur ‘Demelza’ Bra 3. Agent Provocateur ‘Chiki’ Brief 4. Vans Classics 5. Skeleton Gloves (definitely available at Duane Read, etc. too) 6. Prada ‘Vela’ Backpack