12 Mid-2000s Rap Songs to Get You Crunk This Weekend

Pop culture moves pretty fast, and if you’re not careful, as the years go by, quality songs can slip through the cracks.  While in 2001 we never thought we’d ever be able to forget about Ja Rule and the whole Murda Inc. crew, 14 years later, the details are as fuzzy as the resolution on a VHS tape.  But listening to old rap songs is just like riding a bike: as soon as you start listening, it all comes back to you.

Here are 12 of our favorite rap songs that are so good that you can’t believe you ever forgot them.

1. Tipsy – J-Kwon (2004)

J-Kwon’s one and only big hit “Tipsy” peaked at #2 on the Billboard Hot 100 in 2004, and manages to win you over in less than five seconds with the admission that “teen drinking is very bad, yo, I got a fake ID though.” This song is like a can of Pringles: once you pop, the fun don’t stop. Plus, according to an interview that resident Kanye West gave to the New York Times, it’s apparently always been his #1.

2. 03′ Bonnie & Clyde – Jay Z And Beyonce (2002)

The year was 2002. Beyonce was the standout member of Destiny’s Child and Jay-Z had just pleaded guilty to stabbing record producer Lance Rivera at the Kit Kat Klub in NYC. Somehow, the two came together to record “03 Bonnie & Clyde,” Jay-Z’s lead single for Blueprint 2, and Beyonce’s first top ten single as a solo artist, and even though they didn’t make it official until two years later, Bey and Jay were totally hooking up and nothing was the same again.

3. Suga Suga – Baby Bash, Frankie J (2003)

Light on the rap and heavy on lyrics so bad they’re pretty funny, “Suga Suga” rose to number 7 on the Billboard Hot 100 and mysteriously became New Zealand’s #1 song for three weeks.  It was Baby Bash’s only big song, and quite frankly, it’s a miracle that he pulled it off.

4. Best I Ever Had – Drake (2009)

Before Drake was the man, he was still just a boy trying to make the world see him as anything but that kid in the wheelchair from Degrassi. “Best I Ever Had” was his first single from his first EP, and even though the hype and hate were strong, the track won Drake his first two Grammy Nominations and put him on the path to becoming the Drizzy we all know and love today. Kanye West directed the music video, which got its fair share of criticism for focusing too much on bouncing breasts that have never seen the inside of a sports bra, but just like some other early Kanye West material, it’s funny as f-ck.

5.  Always On Time – Ja Rule, Ashanti (2001)

The early 2000s were a magical time for Ja Rule, the gravel-voiced spokesman of Murder Inc. who managed to pop out hit singles like the kids today are popping Molly, before getting involved in too many beefs and eventually doing jail time (which was apparently amazing, so whatever). So it goes. Nobody can stay on top forever. “Always On Time” spent 2 weeks at the top of the Billboard Hot 100, Ja Rule’s second track to go straight to the top.

6.  Pimp Juice – Nelly (2003)

In 2003, Nelly was the king. His second album Nellyville had spawned the massive hits “Hot in Herre” and “Dilemma” and even though “Pimp Juice” failed to live up to those lofty standards, it succeeded in being named one of VH1’s Most Awesomely Bad Songs Ever. But what else can you expect from a song whose central conceit is that “she only wants me for my pimp juice.” Although, who are we to judge? Maybe Nelly has the tastiest cum the world has ever known.

7.  Candy Shop – 50 Cent ft. Olivia (2005)

“Candy Shop” was the second single from 50 Cent’s second album, and peaking at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 and staying there for nine straight weeks. Some thought it was crazy, sexy, cool and some thought it was an uninspiring display of “macho swagger” and “hostility.”  According to Fiddy, his intention was “to be as sexual as possible, from a male perspective, without being vulgar or obscene.”  You be the judge.

8.  Sex Room – Ludacris, Trey Songz (2010)

From Ludacris’s seventh studio album, Battle of the Sexes, “Sex Room” debuted at #98 on the Billboard Hot 100 and rose to a sexy #69. The song is about as awesomely bad as you could imagine, packed to the brim with groan-inducing lines that stay lodged in your brain for days. It’s not anybody’s best track, but it’s still a must listen.

9. Birthday Song – 2 Chainz, Kanye West (2012)

Released as the second single from his debut studio album, “Birthday Song” introduced the world to the glory of 2 Chainz. With poetic lyrics like“she got a big booty so I call her Big Booty” and “When I die, bury me inside the booty club,” “Birthday Song” is hands down the best song you’ve never thought to listen. Plus, the music video has everything: kids beating up a clown, a woman trying and failing to do some contortionist crap, a line of unsmiling men getting lap dances, and a cameo from Kanye West that you know his agent thought was a horrible idea. Seriously, you have to trust us on this one.

10.  Holidae In – Chingy, Snoop Dogg, Ludacris (2003)

For a while in 2003, if you asked anybody who listened to rap what they were doing, they were likely to respond with, “chillin at the Holidae In.” “Holidae In” was Chingy’s second consecutive top 5 hit on the Billboard 100, although it’s the song’s featured rappers who everybody remembers (Ludacris and Snoop Dogg). A classic track.

11.  Mrs. Officer – Lil Wayne, Bobby V (2008)

Lil Wayne’s fourth and final single from his iconic Tha Carter III, “Mrs. Officer” was ranked the 25th Best Hip Hop song of 2008 by MTV, obviously behind the best song to ever play at any school dance ever, “Lolipop.” “Mrs. Officer” explores the possibility of what would happen if Lil Wayne took the commandment to f-ck the police literally and surprisingly, the result is easy, breezy and super endearing.

12.  Oh Boy – Cam’ron (2002)

Always a classic.


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