11 Surprisingly Funny Celebrity Instagram Bios
When’s the last time you actually paid attention to a famous person’s Instagram bio?
Was it ever?
If the answer is, “no, absolutely not,” I don’t blame you.
Just like most celebrity Instagram feeds are filled with pictures of said famous people looking hot and moody in exotic locations, most celebrity Instagram bios go something like this, “I’m famous, here’s a link to some branded content. PS: did you see I have thousands more followers than you? Cower in the face of my significance! Love you.”
But today, as I was researching something completely unrelated, I somehow stumbled across Diplo’s Instagram page, read his bio, laughed out loud and showed it to all my co-workers, none of whom thought it was quite as funny as I did.
Then I wondered to myself, “Gee, do you think any other celebrities have funny Instagram bios?” And much to my surprise, my editor actually let me write about it.
Here are 11 of my favorites, and by favorites I mean, here are the only LOL celebrity Instagram bios I could even find.
I will never, ever stop laughing at his.
2. Sophie Turner
“I’m a real liability.”
3. Kourtney Kardashian
“Heartless. Download my app.”
Something about the casual juxtaposition of savagery and self-promotion really tickles my LOL bone.
4. Tyra Banks
“Trying to get back the ass I had back in the day…while eating barbecue ribs.”
What a classic dilemma.
5. Justin Bieber
“Help Change the World.”
Okay, Justin. Whatever you say.
6. Gerard Butler
“Actor, Producer, Scotsman. My friends call me Gerry.”
My friends call me Gerry?
So. Precious. Never. Change.
7. Bella Hadid
“…and so it is dove emoji dove emoji dove emoji dove emoji”
Okay, so this one is less of a laugh out loud kind of Instagram bio, and more of a “I need to laugh because I don’t know how else to process this,” kind of bio.
Let me unpack.
“And so it is,” are the first words in the classic Damien Rice song “The Blower’s Daughter,” that teenagers and twenty-somethings used to bawl their eyes out to in 2002 back when Bella was six years old.
So first of all, it’s funny this song is even a reference point for her, although seeing as it’s sad AF and that’s a fundamental part of Bella’s public persona, it sort of makes sense.
But to then follow a completely out of left field song lyric with four dove emojis, like they’re carrying that message of sadness into the ether, and then to follow that up with a “ps here’s all my contact information, I know I’m almost a supermodel but please help me get over the hump,” is just too much to take in without throwing my head back and chortling to the heavens.
8. Allison Williams
“Tv addict; semicolon enthusiast; dog owner!”
This is maybe the most sincere Instagram bio of all time.
9. Lena Dunham
“All the shit that I’ve been through only made me more of an assassin / I kill ‘em, I kill ‘em, I kill ‘em with compassion.”
Oh, Lena. What are we ever gonna do with you?
READ ALSO: Lena Dunham Has Never Been On Your Side
10. Salma Hayek Pinault
“After hundreds of imposters, years of procrastination, and a self-imposed allergy to technology, FINALLY I’m here. ¡Hola! This is truly Salma.”
Because the check by your name wasn’t enough to convince me you were who you said you were.
11. Donald J. Trump
“45th President-of the United States”
Have you spotted any LOL celebrity Instagram bios in the wild that I missed? E-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
And for more pointless, but informative content on celebrity Instagrams read: