8 Excuses for Drinking Excessively This Weekend
Sometimes, it’s just time to black out, pass out at a stranger’s house, and wake up still drunk at noon the next day. For some reason, society seems to look down on this, so we’ve got you covered.
1. I’ve had a really hard day/week.
This one’s an easy one. Unless you happen to be around one of those people that think it’s a competition to be the busiest.. then you may have to fabricate activities you took part in this week, because binge watching all six seasons of Gossip Girl isn’t going to evoke sympathy from anybody.
2. But It’s _________ Birthday!
If it’s somebodies birthday, you naturally have to get as hammered as them so they aren’t the only drunk idiot at the bar. Who cares if the birthday girl is a random chick you saw wearing a tiara in the bathroom, everyone’s birthday deserves to be celebrated equally- with lots of alcohol.
3. It’s Happy Hour!
This can be used the same way you justify buying shoes in all three colors- they were on sale! Unless you find prince charming for the night to purchase all your vodka-sodas, you need to down as many as you can until happy hour is over. This works the same way for open bars, if you’re paying for an open bar, you better get your money’s worth.
4. I got in a fight with my boyfriend.
Because naturally, the only way to combat negative feelings is to drink excessively and end up drunk, crying, and calling you man at 3 am for some sloppy make up sex.
5. I need to get laid.
Unfortunately, the likelihood of you meeting the hook-up of the night while soberly standing as close to the wall as possible is unlikely. It’s science that the more intoxicated you are, the more likely you are to approach a guy, or at least be dancing crazily enough for one to approach you. Just tell your friends to make sure you don’t let your drunk goggles get the best of you.
6. We made a bet.
This works great for you and a friend, just buy a bottle of Tequila for you two and whoever pukes first buys brunch the next morning. That way, you can both be hammered together and recount all your stories (that you remember) the next morning.
7. We’re Celebrating! It doesn’t matter what you’re celebrating. It could be a promotion, or the fact that you managed to get above a D on your accounting exam. It really is the little things in life.
8. I’m hungover.
We all know what the best cure for a hangover is, bloody marys and mimosas! Some people may try to use this excuse to not drink excessively.. you don’t need those people in your life.
All in all, this list proves that no matter what is going on your life, be it good, bad, or average; there is always a good reason to drink. Stay thirsty my friends.
