I Tried Anti-Hangover Chewables and They Actually Worked
A few of months ago I wrote a story about cheap wines that don’t taste like shit. The first line said, “Starting now everything I write will be about alcoholÂ so I can start calling my drunken stupors ‘research.'”
Little did I know that a little whileÂ later, I’d actually be sitting down with a bottle of ridiculously cheap tequila in hand and some anti-hangover chewables in my mouth under the guise of actual research for Galore.
I chose theÂ ZacaÂ recovery chewables to aid in me surviving a night dedicated entirely to binge drinking, and the dreaded morning after. Usually, post-tequila and cheap wine and whatever else I can get my drunk hands on, I’m plagued with a two-day hangover, so this was a big feat for me. I’m basically 22 going on 92.
My chewables arrived in the mail (in very cute and convenient packaging) and I was faced with the decision of what exactly to drink. I wanted this little test to be super authentic, so I chose the dirtiest, sugariest, and most inexpensive alcohol I could fine. I decided on JosÃ© Cuervo tequila, porn star shots (1 oz. sour raspberry liqueur, 1 oz. blue CuraÃ§ao), and a $10 bottle of merlot.
Before we get into the shenanigans, lets get a lil’ science-y and break down the ingredients that make these chewables so great for recovery. According to Zaca, these are the deets:
Japanese Raisin aids in liver detox.
L-Alanyl-L-Glutamine enhances electrolytes and allows for better water absorption.
Prickly Pear is high in antioxidants and flavinoids which have natural anti-inflammatory properties.
L-Glutathione works to naturally detox your system and helps with immune fortification.
These anti-hangover tablets are GMO free, sugar free, gluten free, contain no stimulants, artificial flavors or sweeteners, and they contain only clinically tested ingredients.
May I also quickly add that the company is based out of Colorado, which basically means that they’re born partiers and should be trusted with this kind of stuff.
ZacaÂ recommends taking two tablets after every few drinks and then another two tablets right before you fall asleep/black out/whatever.
I drank an entire bottle of merlot before the shots. Half way through the bottle I chewed 2 tablets,Â the first tablet kinda tasted weird and had an even weirder texture, but the second tablet was delicious… not sure if this was because I was a little buzzed or not, but take it for what it is. I then finished the last half of the bottle and chewed a couple more tablets, still delicious.
Like I said before, I get really hungover. Like… REALLLLLYYYYY hungover. Sometimes my hangover creeps up on me before I even finish drinking. After a bottle of cheap merlot and 4 hangover tablets I was feeling great. Energized, even. So instead of stopping there like a sane person would, I decided it was time for shots. I turned into a party demon. Drinks were ravished. People were traumatized. It’s fine.
I alternated between tequila shots and pornstar shots and lost track of just how many I had. But what I do know, is that I chewed some tablets in the meantime. Could have been two, could have been four.
I somehow made an outfit change and then annoyingly jumped up and down to “Every Time We Touch” by Cascada on repeat for at least 15 minutes and completely exhausted myself and everyone else.
Not sure if it was me jumping around to the most annoying song to ever exist (tied with “Barbie Girl” by Aqua) or the fact that it was almost 4 a.m., but everyone evacuated my house and I was forced to shut the party demon down.
I removed my makeup (drunk girl win) and took my last two anti-hangover chewables before passing the f out.
I have to admit that I didn’t drink as much water as I probably should have. Is it just me or is drinking water the most tedious and annoying task ever? I have no problem polishing off a whole bottle of wine and 6 +/- shots but a couple of glasses of water is just too much for me to handle.
Nevertheless, I woke up the next morning (read: afternoon) and although I wasn’t 100%, I didn’t feel like complete garbage. I managed to stave off the disgusting McDonald’s cravings and actually showered, got ready, and left my house like a normal person.
I can attribute all of that post-binge drinking success solely to the Zaca recovery chewables because I sure as hell didn’tÂ take it easy on my liver the night before.
So if you’re despy to make your hangovers more tolerable, might as well give it a shot, right?